Hot blooded ranting!

New home

2007-11-20T22:56:00.000+08:00

h'ola! i have a new home! please change to http://dirtsideoff.wordpress.com/
thank you for visiting!. :)

なにかしているんだ。。。

2007-11-17T12:28:00.000+08:00

まああ、いまからなにかしているんじゃないよ。つまらないねええ！！！

Heard from a friend recently that should I pass JLPT Level 2, I could get a work as an administrator with translation job for about SGD3500 a month. I said wow to that. Now that's a goal worthy of achieving don't you think?

Now, I'm waiting to take my JLPT Level 3, which by my reckoning is a tad easier. Can't get a decent job at a Japanese company where they can send you oversea, but it does help me a bit in opening up doors previously left closed. Now I can go to Japan and relatively understand what most people talk about...that is if I ever get to practice my listening skills...

To that end, I will try to insert a few sentences of Japanese phrases into my blog writing so as to familiarize, and hopefully ingrain the speech patterns into my head, so that when I do open my mouth to spout some nonsense, it'll be useful nonsense.

Which reminds me, 日本語の勉強するだ、今から始めて！！

たいへんですね！

2007-11-15T21:50:00.000+08:00

Wow! Tonight's test is super hard!

Let's see. The total point for the school is 350 points for which the passing point is 175. On Tuesday, the comprehension has a 100 point weightage, tonight's test has 150 points for listening, dictation and kanji, this Sunday will see a 50 points oral, and finally on next Tuesday, another 50 points essay writing.

My expected points so far would be around 70 points from the comprehension paper that I am relatively sure of. If want to be really sure, then the points are only 60. From the listening part, from 150 points, I have lost around 15 points. So now, I have a grand total of let's see now, 135+60=...えっと。。。195!

Holy shit! I passed already! やった！！！

Now all I have to do is to ace my oral and essay, so i can stay in the top 30! Okay, maybe top 50! LOL!

Ohh, so tired!

2007-11-14T16:50:00.000+08:00

Wah, today I am superman...

Not only do I have to study for my Japanese lesson's exam tomorrow, I got another exam on my plate in the morning! The bad part is, the morning exam has a course note that is 2 inches thick! Argghh!! My eyes!

For good or for bad, I am still not studying...I don't know why. No mood perhaps? Or some other thing...Need psychoanalysis to determine why the hell am I so lazy. LOL!

Oh, by the way, how long does it take to lose 6 kilos? Never! LOL! Why? Because you will put on 4 kilos due to muscle buildup, so in effect, you only lose 2 kilos. Hehehe...now...to look for something to help me gain muscle mass...running perhaps? Maybe some other ... "invigorating" exercise!

Heh heh heh!

Slow light?

2007-11-14T01:06:00.003+08:00

Can light be slowed down enough for it to be useful in computing? Is it a need? Why the answer is yes and yes!

This is what Wikipedia said:

Researchers at UC Berkeley slowed the speed of light traveling through a semiconductor to 6 miles per second in 2004. This was in an effort to develop computers that will use only a fraction of the energy of today's machines.[1]

In 2005, IBM created a microchip that can slow down light, claiming that its light-slowing device is the first to be fashioned out of fairly standard materials, potentially paving the way toward commercial adoption.[2]

Well...I'd say that's something. Here's another one.

Hmm...but I got a question. why does the light speed up after it's being slowed down? How does the light sped up after it's been slowed down? What makes it speed up again? Did it really slow down? Or was it just our inaccurate instruments that erroneously told us that it is slowed? Did the light really slowed or did it just got blocked, bounced off into our eyes to be perceived, and another photon of light takes its place on the line? How do they know it's even the same photon of light? How do they measure they really only released only one photon?

Well...sorry for being a pain the the arse questioning machine...but I think they are valid, no?

しけん！

2007-11-13T22:05:00.000+08:00

なんと！きょうはしけんをしまたね！！！
Oh, shitshitshitshitshitshit! 2 minutes after coming out of the exam room, and i went, "Oh shitshitshit! Shouldn't that be に instead of と???" Arghhh! Checked the notes, really really shouldn't have done that, and found out to my horror, it was supposed to be に!!! ARGHHHH!!! 3 points down the drain. :(

This exam was tougher and trickier than I thought. きょうねんしけんはさいきんしけんよりかんたんですね。。。

やっぱり。。。こんどしけんはかならずたいへんだけど。。。

じゃあ。。。みんなさん。。。しぬな！

がんばって！

ファイトーOH!!

Catch-22

2007-11-09T17:08:00.000+08:00

Sometime ago some people asked me "How I get to become so good with the English Language." I answered him, "Because I read a lot!"

Now, I am learning a new language, one with the reputation of being both difficult and popular, Japanese. In both grammar and usage, I indeed find it very hard. "Hard as in how?" "If it's so hard, why didn't I just improve it like how I did for my English?" my detractors said.

Wish it were that simple. Allow me to explain. In order to improve my Japanese skills, I first need to read more. But in order to do that, I first need to understand more of what I read, and for that to happen, I need to understand the text. But before I can even begun to understand them, I need to know how to read them. To know how to read them, I need to be exposed to their usage everyday, but for that to even start to happen, I need to read which, unfortunately is back at the initial problem that I had.

Catch-22.

However, there is a way to break out of the circle. Through several years of slow, steady learning accompanied by light reading. First, it is imperative that I know how to read, especially kanji, the hardest of the three Japanese scripts. Only after adequately mastering kanji can I be reasonably capable of reading full Japanese texts.

Ahhh, when will I be able to both read, write and converse fluently in Japanese, I wonder...?

Decisions decisions!

2007-11-07T23:07:00.000+08:00

これ。みて！
This camera, Nikon D200, the veritable successor of the good D100, and I have got my sights on this one after I found out Nikon D80's specifications don't differ much. For one thing, it has a lot of specs that I would expect to see in my first DSLR. But why would I want to buy a DSLR that is anything but entry level like the Nikon D50? Hmmm...must be the trait I inherit from my computer buying mind; buy the best you can afford now, and it will last you a long time until the next upgrade. Sure, I could use an entry level camera first, but you know, it just doesn't satisfy the gadget freak in me.

...

BUT! Wait-a-minute! What's this I see over at the Canon camp?
OMG! The Canon DSLR-40D!! Heck, If I think Nikon D200 is good, wait till you see the specs of this baby! It simply blows the D200 away! Arghh! My hands are itching to hold it, test it, caress it, and maybe buy it! Just...need...to...test...!

Photography

2007-11-03T20:22:00.000+08:00

Recently, as in several days ago, my Casio Exilim EX-Z110 decided to kill itself and give me alot of trouble. Okay, so it isn't exactly dead yet, more like mutilated and going blind. Hahaha!!!

Anyway, I asked my friends here in Singapore, those photography nut-cases, about buying a digital SLR, and poof, they gave me a slew of advice about what and what-not to get. After several days of combing through the reading list, and trolling the Internet photography forums for buying tips, as well as product comparisons, I've come to a reasonable knowledge of what to get. Problem is, it's expensive as hell, and like hell, it's a hot item.

Now my dilemma is, to buy or not to buy. Look at the thing. Nikon D80. My friend has one. Another also brought one, albeit 2nd hand, and after I looked at the specifications, and compare it with it's higher spec-ed cousin, D200, and their attendant price difference, I feeling more and more like having this D80 than the D200.

What do you think?

Logical?

2007-10-29T22:59:00.000+08:00

There's one website my friend told me today about an auction. Instead of the Ebay model, it is somewhat different. How?

Instead of the highest bidder, the item bid for will go to the...wait for it...LOWEST bidder! Yes! Unbelievable? It is! Of course, there are some twist to the story. Otherwise, everyone will bid the lowest price, which in this case is $0.01. So then, what is the twist?

It's easy, the condition (the twist) is, the lowest bid will win. And only the ONLY lowest bid will win. It means that if there are 9 bidders, and 8 of them bid an item for $0.01, and the last man bid for $0.02, the $0.02 bidder will win since he's the only one with the $0.02, which by far is the lowest single bid there is. Understand?

Now, let me tell you why instead of $0.01 that people expect to pay, people will pay only several percentage points lower than the stated retail price. Say an item is worth $289 at retail, people will actually pay around $250 instead of the expected $0.01.

It goes like this: there are 3 person; A, B, C. They all know the conditions. A will bid item D worth $100 for $0.01. B will also bid $0.01, however, he knew that A will bid $0.01, and thus B knows there since there can only be a single lowest bidder, having two $0.01 bidder will not do, and thus B will raise his bid a little, hence bidding $0.02. Now it's C turn to bid. C knowing A will bid $0.01, and so will B, C will try to bid $0.02. But he knows that if he bid $0.02, A will also try to bid $0.02 in the believe that B and C will bid $0.01.

This will go on and on in the believe that each of the other one will bid a higher bid than the previous bid, thus raising the bid price higher with every bid, each bidder bidding in the believe that their bid is the only single lowest bid.

I apologize as I am not able to put the explanation succinctly. However, that is the gist of what I'm trying to convey. And that is why these kind of bidding will use psychology to sell at a higher price than realized.

Till next time.

Very tiring this day

2007-10-24T22:28:00.000+08:00

In class today, when I tried to listen in on the lectures...my head got so heavy I just slept intermittently for several minutes. Then I got bored sleeping like that, so I took out my Japanese class notes to revise. Bad mistake. My eyelid got heavier to the point that I can't even see what I'm writing!

Finally I hit upon a solution: I daydream. Yeah, i dream of a dream where I'm a multi-billionaire building elite schools for the gifted and talented who will in the end work for me and continue to make me billions in profit. Hehe, Didn't you know investment in education bring the largest possible return?

So much to do...

2007-10-20T02:52:00.000+08:00

Another boring day. And another day when I splurge on several hundred dollars worth of goods that in the long run doesn't look to rosy. Look at this! My first dedicated badminton shoe cum running shoe cum whatever sports I happen to play, and look at the price...wait, don't think it's that much, but heck...I paid SGD$100 for that pair. Arghh...first day of paycheck, and this is what I splurge on. I am so going to get broke! Oh, by the way, I got the red one. Wanted for the shoe to be in all orange or some other bright colors but they're not available...sigh...

I don't know why, I have these sudden urges to wear some really bright colored clothes. Orange, red, bright blue, ultraviolet, hell, even fluorescent green! I have a fluorescent green vest, but that can only be used on official government business...so for casual wear, だめです。

Hmm...where did I put that photo of a really good looking "look" I found the other day...

おさしぶり

2007-10-17T22:44:00.000+08:00

It's been long. How do you do?

Today, I was in a library, and as you know, libraries are supposed to be a quiet place of contemplation and study. And the librarian are the guardians of this peace and tranquility. Right?

So what happens when the librarian are the one making lot's of noise, and to top it all off, shushed other library visitors up? This librarian/guardian/stupid moron guy did what he did (today at least) deliberately. How? He was organizing some papers together to be stapled, and after stapling, keeps them in a pile in a box. The problem was this; he throws the paper into the box, knowing full well it will make a helluva noise, and even when I glared at him, he looked at me straight in the eye, and does it again and again...I don't know, to spite me?!

Arghhh!!!!

Anyway, I got a hing to complain about Singapore's virtual monopoly of bus services. They are always late, with irregular service timing, high fare, stupid scheduling and worse of all, they think they are giving the best service in the world! The nerve!! The ego! I'm writing a complaint letter to them as of now.

First Malaysian In Space?

2007-10-11T01:09:00.000+08:00

So what?! That was the first question I asked myself. That was at the time when my application to be an astronaut was rejected. That was four years ago.

So what?! This is the question I ask myself now. This is the question I ask when I found out that the Malaysia's supposedly first astronaut is nothing more than a payload. A pissing, shitting, moving, dead-weight payload at that. NASA called him "Spaceflight Participant". I call him a waste of tax money. Now, I don't feel so bad about my application being rejected. Getting selected for this, although filled with momentary moments of euphoria, it will inevitably drag down my name to bed with the worms.

In order to commemorate this...wasteful 'achievement', the Malaysian government insists that he will conduct experiments. Real experiments. Serious real experiments. And if the grapevine is to be believed, seriously laughable real experiments. Some years back, some idiot of an MP (then again, which MP isn't an idiot?) suggested in Parliament that this 'spaceflight participant' conducts experiments to make teh tarik...in space! なんと！？！I was laughing so hard then my stomach almost burst open. Mind you that that was just one of those bonehead suggestions spouted and I have no idea how many of those nonsense was forwarded to NASA. Their reasoning is equally idiotic: to bring Malaysian culture into space??? Looking at the approved menu, I think they'll brag about the nasi briyani this 'spaceflight participant' will have there.

So, is this a great achievement? Hmmm......let's see. We have ...oh, waitaminute, look at this list! So many astronauts! Even better, look at this! Wow! Malaysians should really be proud! I feel that Dennis Tito has more respect. At least he didn't pretend to be something other than a tourist.

The dearth of superiority

2007-10-09T22:44:00.000+08:00

A discussion with my friend recently spurred me to write the topic for today's entry. Superiority. Whose? Ours.

Have you ever noticed that over the years, as our collective and specialist knowledge gets more and more advanced and higher, the base knowledge of the average people gets more and more..diluted? In other words, we're getting dumber as we get smarter?

Allow me to explain my perplexing statement. How are we getting smarter? As I said, more and more knowledge was dredged from the deep mysteries of the universe. Rate of new knowledge discoveries keep on increasing. We are definitely marching into the future with confidant stride...but only for the elite few. And how are we dumber? Look at the school going children nowadays. Instead of acquiring more knowledge (relatively), they are acquiring less than those of their forebears. Examination questions the world over was 'watered' down so that more child could pass, thus ensuring that "No Child Left Behind", which ironically means that all child move ahead in life dumber. Passing grades continue to fall over the years in an effort to 'pass' all students for (of all reasons) the purpose of obtaining 100% passes!! This is ridiculous!!

There you see why as we grow smarter as a species, we also, at the same time, grow dumber as each component member of Homo Sapien grows dumber? It is only by averaging the sum total can we get an increasing average year by year. I'll leave the maths to you. I'm too dumb to count. LOL!

What does this mean then? So what if they get dumber? Why indeed..."So what!" indeed.

In case you haven't noticed, we need to get off this rock, this 3rd rock from the Sun. It is getting too crowded, and the faster we get off this rock, the better the chances of humans surviving our next meteor strike (tentatively 'scheduled' in several thousand years). And the faster we spread through space, the faster will our base collective knowledge grows, and the faster our knowledge grows, the faster we will step up to our next step in evolution...(actually, I don't know what's our next step in evolution...)!

Now, to get there, first we need to intensify the collection of knowledge. Spread this across the entire human race, it translates into more people generating knowledge. But knowledge cannot be generated by just any people. Only a small percentage does, and to get that small percentage, a huge percentage needs to be there to support them. It is akin to saying "Training a thousand to find the one.". But the quality of the Few depends on the quality of the whole. This said means that only smart people can breed smarter geniuses. And smart people can only be groomed if the standard of knowledge transmission (layman term: schooling!!) is not compromised!

In other simpler terms, the standards of the exams must be tougher, more challenging. Rewards should be given to the top achievers. Mediocrity should be discouraged. And the useless discarded, if possible. Imagine, if more people were rewarded for revolutionary breakthroughs, wouldn't it be better for us?

A tale of three cities

2007-10-02T22:38:00.000+08:00

This is a tale of three city so different, it rocks the mind...at least my mind. I'm talking about of Bangkok, Singapore and Kuala Lumpur.

What makes a city a city? Is it the buildings? The various mega structures? The facilities? The hotels? The tourist traps? What is it that makes a city A CITY? Look at Bangkok. In a heartbeat I'll declare it a city. No doubt about it. People will look at Bangkok, and said, "Damn, that's a city!". Why did I say that? Well, look at it this way. I was there for like two times, and both times, I found something new and something that I like. No, like is too affectionate a word. More likely, I found something exciting about Bangkok. Something I know I won't find in Singapore or Kuala Lumpur.

Bangkok is organic, in a word. It is vibrant. It is filled with people! Yes, the people makes the city! They have high rise building rivaling those in Singapore and KL, and they have a street life reminiscences of small town. You could be in one part of Bangkok, and swear on your mother's grave that you're not in Bangkok, when in fact, you ARE! And you can walk a hundred meters and find yourself staring at the most magnificent building Bangkok has to offer. and just as suddenly, you felt like you're in Bangkok again. That feeling is elusive. That feeling in indescribable.

A case in point, my experience from my recent jaunt to Bangkok last week. Come morning, I woke up, goes down to the hotel lobby where a tuk-tuk (provided free by the hotel) was ready to whisk me to the main street. At the main street, already bustling with people criss-crossing here and there with cars shooting pass on the road, I searched for a place to fill my stomach. Walking a short distance either will bring me to a road side stall selling anything from classic Thai breakfast to traditional Chinese soup noodles. Take your pick, and this place didn't even pretend to be a tourist trap, and yet, there they are, tourists by the dozens. Regarding this road side stalls, everyone eats here: from white-collar workers to laborers. The sitting spilled out onto the road, and yet, I see no policemen coming shoo-ing them away. The reason is that the cars slows down upon coming in close proximity. This is what I call driver courtesy. How many city can claim to have such gracious drivers? Even where there are jay walkers, cars invariably slows down to let them pass. People can walk in the middle of the road without fear of being knocked down by cars or tuk-tuks, or worse, getting horned at.

Sukhumvit in the evening.

Moving along, close by is the BTS station; an elevated mass rapid transit. A few stations away will bring you to the most upscale part of Bangkok; Siam Paragon, arguably the most expensive place to shop in Bangkok. Even here, you could spy some stalls tucked away in a corner here and there, and if you looked carefully enough, customers in ties and coats can be seen waiting patiently for their meal.

A trip to the biggest night market in Bangkok, Chatuchak Market, is a whole new experience in itself. Not only do you need a map to navigate the place, you'll think that people here are angels, sans the steep price that is. I mean, they are so gracious! One small bump from them will have them apologizing profusely you'll get red-faced. Ask one small favor will have them bring you right to where you want to be, even if they don't gain anything. And prices so priced that you want to haggle for a lower price even when it is so low, and they'll happily oblige. Maybe I'm not a shopping or haggling person, but I'm definitely a pasar-malam person.

At night, for the adventuress, there are night life here that would make Las Vegas weep. For those less inclined to dabble in adult entertainment, the night views and night time street shopping is a must. Of course, there's always the ever present massage parlors where you can have your tired body kneaded for hours for pennies! It is that cheap!

A bustling skyline

Lastly, people, be them Thai or foreigners, came to Bangkok, and made Bangkok their home; changing it. But you know what they say: the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Next, we have Singapore, city in the south. An advanced city by comparison. Bigger buildings, Better facilities. Just one thing is lacking: a soul. For a big city like Singapore, It somehow feels empty. It feels sterile. Too clean, some said. Too systematic, others complained. I think it lacks the human factor so critical in the making of a successful city. Singapore, to itself is a city made to cater to the buildings and facilities and a showcase for the world with the people being brought in to fill the rooms these building provided. There are world class system in place. And yet when you examine it closer, it is lifeless. Therein lies the problem. The city was built for the buildings, not the logical way around. That the city was built for the humans, with the building being built to cater for the people.

Buildings in Singapore were built for the sake of being built. It's utilitarian. It's artificial. It's boring. People goes into the building to work, and leave for a night's sleep only to come back again the next day to do the same thing. When people talks about their experiences in Singapore, they don't say, "I've lived in Singapore..." rather, they said, "I've worked in Singapore...". See the difference? They worked here rather than lived here, this in itself is a worrying trend. And yet Singapore persist, insisting that it is the best place to live. There isn't anything to do once you get off work. And there's so little variation here that once you've seen one part of Singapore, you've seen it all.

And lastly, Kuala Lumpur, arguably the worst of the three cities. It tries too hard to be something is was not meant to be. You could find parts of Singapore in KL, and you can find parts of Bangkok sans graciousness, on another part. Development is erratic and marred by corruption. You wouldn't even want to work here, let alone live here. The only reason they are so many people here (relatively speaking) is because the main transportation hubs are located here, and the seat of government are here as well. And these same people will invariably get conned by hustlers and peddlers plying the streets at every junction near crowded places. You can't walk a decent amount of distance without encountering dangerous car drivers blaring their horns at you for even walking on the road shoulder. Don't even mention the public transport. If they can get away with slitting your throat with their price, they will.

Attraction? None at all. Although KL is more organic than Singapore, and there are places you could go to feel uniquely in KL, you'll have problem reaching it.

In conclusion, Bangkok, Singapore, Kuala Lumpur, in that order seems to offer more in terms of liveliness and experience. And in the future, I predict Bangkok will overtake Singapore as the most advanced city in SE Asia while still retaining it's liveliness, it's people and its culture. Singapore already lost its. Kuala Lumpur sold out its soul long time ago.

And this is just three...wait till you read what I have to say about Beijing!

Back from Bangkok!

2007-10-01T16:49:00.000+08:00

Bangkok, the city don't know what the city is becoming. In short, it's getting more lively as the years progresses, while other city turn stagnant and sterile. Numerous construction projects aim to turn this bustling cosmopolitan into one huge developed city, on par with the standards set by myopic developers and policy-setters of the western world. This here is a city ready to take on its opponent and critics at their own game, without sacrificing it's own identity. Because when you get to the ground level from the lofty towers of Bangkok, you'll find the real Bangkok.

The really cheap foods I could get here are amazing in their variety.
This is a typical promotional poster in Bangkok. Look at the models. All Thai. All pretty. Heck even prettier than other models in similar ads in other countries! This is what I call quality entertainment! LOL!
An engineer working on the aircraft I'm about to take to Bangkok. Nothing against Bangkok, but I don't see this (ground crew working) anywhere in Bangkok's spanking new airport. Disappointing really when you consider that they throw your luggage around in order to move them around.
A bustling metropolitan city it truly is. A typical traffic jam by day...and night from the looks of it. However with the ever present construction of new MRT lines, this congestion could potentially be cut by as much as 30%! Soon, optimistically speaking, the roads of Bangkok would be filled with taxis and tuk-tuks rather than private cars.
Ahhh, the road side stall that caters to me...nice, good looking and cheap food. The owner was surprised because we came too early for normal Thai dinner time. He meant Thai don't usually go for dinner at the time we went: 530pm.
I'm on the tuk-tuk service plying the small access road from our hotel, The Royal Asia Lodge, to the main street. It is situated near the controversial adult only entertainment center of Nana.
The typical Thai breakfast, which surprisingly looked like all other breakfast in Malaysia or Singapore. Soup noodle. Of course I did not manage to snap photos of natives eating their ubiquitous version of "laksa(?)" or their penchant for weird looking food. I'll try to post them up when my stomach is ready for me to snap them in action...

Post 199...heck not even 200!

2007-09-27T08:40:00.001+08:00

I heard from my friend that there's a store in Chatuchak in Bangkok that sells bags of all sorts and sizes for 199...baht! That's like around SGD8!! So cheap! Now, I need to be finding this store! Hahahahah!

On another note, I am going to Bangkok...again, tomorrow, and now I am writing this from home...YES! I'm not at work! Hahahah! Because it rained and I can't wake up early, can't get a cab early and definitely won't be on company premises on time, so I said, what the heck, half-day annual leave then! Hahhaa!

was playing X-Com Apocalypse just now to pass the time...actually more like to wake me up, and you know what? I got my arse handed to be by those alien scums! Damn aliens if they think they're gonna fuck up my beloved city, Mega Primus! Die ALIEN SCUM! Where's Predator when you need one?

さびしです

2007-09-25T22:34:00.000+08:00

Sigh...so tired nowadays. Do anything, anywhere also get easily tired. Be it working or studying or even ogling girls, it's just so tiring. So, not much to update tonight. Besides, I am so tired now I forgot what I wanted to blog about this morning. See 'ya next blog.

At last...NOT!

2007-09-24T22:47:00.000+08:00

Meet my girlfriend. She is an elf from the village of Elmsbury, in Midgard. She is a race of elves who called themselves Night Elves, and being so night-ly, she can see in the dark! I should remember to wear my cloths if I'm walking around buff in my house! LOL! But because of her liason with me, her father disowns her and banished her to Earth, to a little speck of land called Singapore. Her once awesome powers it seemed were also curtailed, severely. Once she could produce a blue fireball the size of bowling balls, now, only a whisper of her former glory remains when she can only conjure up a fireball the size of golf balls.

And with no further ado, meet Selena the Night Elf!

Recent photos from the Lantern Festival in Chinese Garden

2007-09-23T10:55:00.000+08:00

Overall...there lacks creativity by the organizer, but visit wise...it was fun. Of course, it's not the place where you go, it's who you GO with.

Oink oink!
An oil painting done by myself...nice?My friend who thinks he's the ghost of the bamboo grove.Atlantis themed lantern display...seriously, they look so fake!

Another side of the Atlantis themed display.

Now, compare the lanterns from Chinese Garden with the one from Penang's International Lantern Festival.

Now you know why I say Chinese Garden's lanterns pales by comparison creatively wise?

まだあたまがいたい！

2007-09-19T22:55:00.000+08:00

Well...after discussing with my good friends both here in Singapore and in Kuala Lumpur, I have to re-assess my interpretation of the signals given off by the world's most intriguing creature...women! Specifically one women, Jane Doe. All these while, I've read her signals wrong. Not only am I wrong, heck, I made my moves based on these wrong signals!! How wrong I was! Well, I didn't do anything overt, just that some of my moves are relatively obvious as compared to others...now...sigh...another failure. You'd think that after years of failures in this regard, I would be turned off by the whole experience...and yet, I found myself drawn; like moth to fire, in this game of chance. I keep going back for more, and keep getting myself hurt time and again, and come out smiling first, then morose, then suicidal, then laughing, then back to square one, trying to repeat the cycle all over again....honestly...why do I do that?!?

On another note, I thought up something while I was waiting for my Japanese class to start today. It concerns how we measures ourselves and our capability when confined into the expectations of others.

What I mean is this; people grade other people for various reasons. They grade them according to criteria set by certain people. How good or bad people fare depends on the criteria used, the method implemented and the perception of those graded towards the grading process. Generally speaking, there are two rather large type of grading methodology. Which one is better over the other is the point of my rambling now.

First method, I have no idea what it's called, but it starts by giving a range of figures to which the graded belong. For example, when grading exam papers, those who got a 'C' falls into the 50-70 points range. And those who got 'A' falls between 80-100 points, and so on... Now...with this grading 'system', I believe the perception of those graded are something like; "Damn! I only got a 'B'! So sad!"...and that is it. No more. No future initiative to get and 'A' because in their mind, a 'B' is a 'B' and an 'A' is not necessary better than a 'B', so, why should they work "harder" to get an 'A' which in their mind is equivalent? This grading "system" is also akin to some lot placement of students into various sporting house/colleges' banners. One house is not necessary better then the next. It's just a division of labour. Working "harder" does not entail you to move "up the ladder" because there is no ladder. That is why it's "hard". In short, there is no imperative to improve oneself.

The second method, I have no name for it as well, some other smart soul might know it, but I don't. But I can describe it's nature pretty well. Here goes...this "system" starts by placing limits to a certain criterion. For example, again the exam papers. The grading system are graded thus; "If you understands the concept of this question, and are able to complete a certain number of questions in increasingly difficulty, then you are qualified to be ranked as a 'C'." and "If at level 'C' you are able to differentiate so and so matter with their intended purpose so on and so forth, then you are qualified to be graded 'B'."

This goes on and the complexity and difficulty rises. Another fine example would be martial arts exponents earning levels of belts. The level of the belt is not a measure of how many points you score in a routine, it is a measure of your ability to master certain skills relevant to that level. Should you be able to master a level higher, then a belt of a higher level will be accorded. In this way, there is a clear "ladder of improvement" that can be ascended. In short, the imperative to improve is built in.

In conclusion, Method 1 sucks and bringing out the best in people for the purpose of improvement but is an excellent device to segregate people based of non-critical/non-natural issues. Method 2 excels at bring out the best in people by the chance of constant improvement inherent in such a system, thus ensuring "evolution". However, there will be deep seated bias against someone of a different level. It is segregation based along natural lines.

One last thing...does your head hurts now?

Proud?

2007-09-13T23:08:00.000+08:00

I was watching a YouTube video posted sometime back about the Chinese New Year Celebration in China broad casted by CCTV during Chinese New Year 2007. I missed the live show on TV as I was busy at the time, but I got a chance to check out the show just now...and I am impressed!

Really impressed by the performances. All world class performances witch other people will find hard to emulate. I mean, where else would you find kids as young as 5 do mind-bending acrobatics, women with bones made from tofu contortionist, balancing acrobatics with style and precision, speed talking with the world's hardest language, or a bevy of girls so beautiful you could drool right in front of your TV...and they're all real with no plastic surgery!

I remember a saying I'd heard in Beijing when I was there last; "Tai shan san feng jung, tai shia san nian kung." (Practice for 3 years to stay on stage for 3 minutes.) They really did practice for long and hard and harder just for the sake of that three minutes performance...and I am amazed by the results! Six billion thumbs up for them!

Makes me proud to belong to the Chinese ethnic. Sure, we are as disunited as heck, but there's an article in The Straits Times yesterday about how if all the Chinese in the world united like how the Japanese unites, Chinese will rule the world!

I'm sure we can!

Nauseous

2007-09-12T23:29:00.000+08:00

I was reading in the library. I was working on my homework. I had a small dinner, just a tuna sandwich. Suddenly, my head starts to spin. I thought, "Damn, I'm so hungry my head's spinning!". The time was 7:20pm.

Then, all of a sudden, my teacher came out of her room, looking flustered. I can see fear in her eyes. She asked: "Is it an earthquake?". Only then did I realize that the glass cabinet behind me was rattling. The rattling and shaking, now very pronounced, gets stronger. My teacher starts to really worry. She made a decision to evacuate the building. Two classes worth of students evacuated with her. I wanted to come along as well...but I sensed the shake getting weaker, so I did not evacuate. After ten minutes, they came up. The time was 7:30pm.

That was my first earthquake tremor experience. Read in the news it struck somewhere off Bengkulu in Indonesia. And it can be felt as far away as Thailand. So far, there are few casualties, and tsunami warning was issued then lifted. There are need for more news to be communicated before sketchy details are filled in.

Friends worst than enemies

2007-09-11T22:41:00.000+08:00

There are people whom we consider friends just based off our first meeting, and there are people who remain strangers even though we've known each other for years.

There are friends who would go to the end of the world with you based on trust alone, and there are friends whom if you have, you don't need an enemy.

I have one such friend, the enemy kinda friend. With him as my friend, who needs enemies?! It's pretty normal that when you ask for help from a friend, they would help you. And it is also normal that when you ask for help from a friend, they will say "No.". This is all understandable.

What is not understandable is why would a friend says "No" to imply that I'm using him to complete my agenda? That somehow by helping me, I am ruining him? Am I that bad? No, I don't think I am. There are ways of saying No, and then there are ways of saying No. His "No" is not a good No. His No means he will suffer bad consequences for my benefit. His No means he's not thinking what I'm asking. His No means he is too selfish to even consider what I'm asking him.

And what did I ask of him? To help me book a hotel room using his credit card. I even offered to pay all the expenses incurred from him using his card, but "No!" was his answer.

With friends like him, who needs enemies?

Pessimist and their Optimist Views

2007-09-09T22:45:00.001+08:00

Pessimist generally do have optimistic views you know. If not, how else are they so sure they are correct?

Hahahah! It's funny...I read what my friends said, I've heard what my church going buddies said, heck, I've even participated in some "peace" conference personally, and all I see, and all I find that is common in all of them is this: the world is sick, we need to save ourself, we will go to 'heaven' by devoting ourselves to 'this or that divine thingy'...blah blah blah...it goes on for quite an earful.

But here's what I say...humans are destructive by nature. Sure they are generally good by birth, all that innocence stuff, but by their very survivalist instinct, humans are undeniably destructive. Like Agent Smith of The Matrix said; "Humans are like a virus, they feed on the host until the host died, killing them in the process in their quest for survival...how ironic." Well... an apt analogy.

It is indeed an irony, we humans living in a fantasy world which we constructed ourselves. We believe we are above nature, that we control nature, and somehow if nature lashes back, it is the sins of all the non-religious heretics that's caused them; and that the world can only be saved by constantly praying for divine intervention, which is of course non-existent; living in our little rock floating helplessly in space, drifting through space and time never striving to break out and achieve greater things than staying here on this infested pebble...this problematic world which we call Earth, which we are destroying one molecule at a time with our very egoistic existence, never willing to accept the fact that our lives are more than profits or margins or economics or even love. Our lives are all about survival.

To survive, we need to spread out our 'eggs' so to speak. Not put them all in one fragile wicket basket. Spread among the stars...create live instead of preserving death. This is what we must do. This is what we're not doing right.

Games Convention Asia 2007 Pt2

2007-09-08T20:53:00.001+08:00

There, my new wallpaper...nice isn't it?
Mr PS3!
No idea what she is...
My tour of duty as the Ghost Recon. I could tell you my callsign, but I'll have to kill you.
Ahh, yes, my egoistic ride.

Games Convention Asia 2007

2007-09-08T20:41:00.001+08:00

The creator of Ragnarok Online from Korea!!

たいへんですね！

2007-09-04T23:05:00.000+08:00

きょうのにほんごのべんきょうはとてもたいへんですね！いまおれはあたまがとてもいたいたいです。さいきんはほんとうにほんごではなしていいます。それでは、おれのにほんごはじょうじゅなります。

Really...really hard to work and study at the same time, and not just study Japanese language, but the current Singapore's Air Navigation Order and aircraft system as well! On top of that, I must squeeze in time to ask Jane Doe out for dinner lest she grew colder towards me. And on top of all that bullshit, I need to find time to exercise and play a little to release stress. Now I know why so many people turn to smoking to reduce stress...It's so hard to maintain a sane day everyday!!!

Not only that, I not only need to sharpen my English speaking skill for the all crucial interview with the government, I also need to be able to converse well in Japanese for my upcoming Japanese Language Proficiency Test in December! Now, how am I able to speak two languages full time at the same time? I'm telling you, if I survive this test, and my interview and not fuck up bad at work, I would be taking a long vacation to Hong Kong first thing!

It's long...

2007-09-03T22:42:00.000+08:00

Let's see now:
I woke up at 7 am. Out of the house by 715 am. and starts work at 8 am until 530 pm. then, I travel 7 MRT stations away for night classes which ends at 930 pm and I'd reach home around 1030 pm. All in all, that's something like 12 hours plus 3 hours and 15 minutes making a total of 15 hours and 15 minutes I am out of my house on Monday till Thursday.

That's...alot!! I don't know how I ever cope with that! Oh I know; I sleep walk most of the time away! That explains the panda eyes on my face! And here I thought "Since when did I start rearing a panda?!"

Add in the hours of working overtime on Friday and Sunday...I just realized how little time I had to socialize and get a girlfriend! Now, knowing this...I must work harder at wooing the lady in my life...Jane Doe!

ただいま！

2007-09-02T20:14:00.001+08:00

I'm back!

It was a hectic week. All the praying, and the kneeling and the kow-tow-ing finally takes a toll on my week knee...and now, I'm hungry as heck after just got back from my house up North.

I took some photos of the proceedings, but I doubt that anyone wants to see some funeral processions, and well...I don't think anyone would like too. :D But I can tell you this, the morning when we were supposed to start the procession, it was raining...hard. And I was one of the descendants chosen...well, not actually chosen as volunteered to lead the procession. Damn it was cold! We walked for about a mile, then we got on the hearse and travel the rest of the way to the cemetery...several villages away. In the hearse, staying so close to my late grandmother...my tears came tumbling down. It came intermittently, and I guess then that I really do miss her.

I don't know how other people dealt with their grief, but I just try to cry it away then laugh with my family. She would've wanted us to continue our life filled with laughter. Life after all...must go on.

Goodbye Grandmother. Grandfather won't be so lonely now. :)

I'm going back to "Deliver Ice"

2007-08-28T14:22:00.000+08:00

So sad...I'm going back because my grandmother just passed away. Sorry, but I don't think I'll be able to post until next week. See you next week.

Edit:
It's a conspiracy I tell you. A conspiracy! To make me come back to Malaysia. Is this destiny's way of telling me that no matter how far, no matter how long, no matter how bad, no matter how stupid and no matter how disgusting Malaysia has become, I, as a son of Malaysia, need be in Malaysia for the National Day? I remember for the past 27 years, every National Day has been spent in Malaysia, even the last three years I'm in Singapore. Hmmm...I guess Malaysia do need me, even if it has to resort to death to force me to come back.

I'm back

2007-08-26T20:44:00.000+08:00

Hohoho, I'm back!

After the matchmaking session at hometown...I'm beat! It was long. It was hard. It was a messy affair! I mean...she doesn't look half bad, and she's not all that a conversationalist. Too bad she's not my type. Weird thing is, her sister seems to know me! Ack!!

Think as I like and think as i might, I cannot seems to find a job other than the one I'm doing now to suit my needs and expertise. One that I can do from home with minimal traveling and maximum satisfaction seems so out of my reach. Why am I looking for a new job? Looks like this industry, aka my company, are about to see me fail my certification interview; 4 hours of grilling by the meanest, toughest SOBs in the business...and without my certification, I can't do my work, and if I can't do my work, there is little point in the company retaining me on their payroll now is there? Sigh.....trouble!

On another note, I'm thinking of opening another blogging account, this time not for myself, but for my quasi-school; my Japanese language class. It's for us to pool our photos and outing stories so that others who missed them has a chance to bask in the fun and experience. I should stick to Blogger don't you think so?

Oh, this image is for all the countries I've been through. Just thought I'd share with you this thing. :)

All the things she said! All the things she said!

2007-08-23T23:44:00.000+08:00

...running through my head, running through my head!
THIS! IS! NOT ENOUGH!!!

Well...Jane Doe and I went for a little dinner yesterday. An Italian dinner by the looks of it. We had spaghetti and pasta. The food was good, but then again, I wasn't even thinking about the food. She was simply mesmerizing! I, no, WE talked about many things but mainly about our common interest: anime! Hoah yeah! She like anime! And manga! And is a bigger otaku (or onnaku?) than me! Hahah! Damn, I feel so excited!

Anyway, I'm posting more photos from our dinner at Waraku.

A photo of one of the dishes we ordered...I don't know what is this and what it's made of...eggs I think.

My student from my university days...Yes....I did have a student you know!

So Close...

2007-08-20T22:55:00.000+08:00

..they want to be, close to you...
doo doo doo doo doo duuuuu!

Ahh...The Carpenters. Their song was nice and easy listening. And hit so true to the mark. We, as in girl one, henceforth shall be called...Jane Doe(who by the way is not her real name, and a student, thus not the Japanese teacher I told you about), went to class together tonight. It was hard...really hard, as the language of instruction was in Japanese! And I thought I understand a little of spoken Japanese! Turns out, I'M NOT~!

Sigh...that's the bad news...the good news is, I managed to ask Jane Doe here to go out to dinner with me on Wednesday, before our class. Problem is...we have something in common; our language class. BUT, as some of you were apt to say, start from the common ground first before exploring further. Which under the circumstances I agree...with a caveat; it's too slow. It takes me weeks to finally succeed in asking her out...and going by current trend, it'll be months before I could even out her out to play...say, badminton. I know I know, slow and steady wins the race...でも、おそいですね！

Anyway, here's a photo from the dinner at Waraku last week.

Wow!

2007-08-16T23:52:00.000+08:00

Hahaha, out of great title ideas. Don't know what to rant about tonight. Oh yeah, except for the fact I'm supposed to be working on my certification now, instead of logging on this blog. What to do when you're bored? This do! Hahaha, English as it is broken by me!

Last Friday, I went to Waraku Japanese restaurant with my friends from class. We took lot's of photos, but I didn't get any of their permission to post it here, so... Anyway, we had fun eating, drinking and chatting and laughing so hard we hardly noticed the time. But some things puzzles me...which i have explained in my previous rant.

Today, nothing has changed...we are still quite awkward with each other...but not overtly so. We still manage to laugh and talk together, and she still manage to turn down my invitation to have dinner...okay, tonight it wasn't about dinner, but about playing pool...

Yes! Pool! I played it for the...umm...let's see...second time now? Yeah, second time only. Damn...was I good! Or my opponent was weak? Hahaha, I couldn't keep track. But is was so fun, I want to go again next week...this time hopefully with the presence of her. Yeah, it would definitely be more fun.:)

I don't know why I'm sad...again...

2007-08-11T00:04:00.000+08:00

It's just that I've been emailing her, and SMSing her, and even calling her and all, but she seems reluctant to answer any of my emails, reply any of my SMSs, and keep our phone conversations really short. Well, it's not like I'm expecting she answer everything, that would be illogical. But at least you expect some sort of answer within a day or two at most right? There's nothing! Why?!

And when we meet for dinner with friends just now, all 17 of us, we hardly ever spoke to each other, even though we're sitting next to each other. When taking photos together, I sense a distance between us, like a wall inexplicably erected without me knowing it. I don't like this wall. I hate this wall. I don't want any wall between us. Sad thing is, she told us she wanted to go to Japan to "catch" a Japanese husband! LOL! She may joke it, but people say that "A joke is the truth too close for comfort not to be laughed at."

Anyway...if there's some sort of attraction between us, it's because I'm been thinking too much again...as usual. But this is getting too awkward for both of us.

edit: And to think back, there was one girl whom I feel has great connection with me. We just clicked when we first met...you know. Like, u can talked for hours. LOL, I once talked with her for 3 hours on the phone, and that's after we celebrate Christmas Eve together in Orchard! Hahha, chatted until 4am i think...sighhh...those were the days.

Btw, this girl I'm talking about in this posting is not the Japanese teacher I so often talked about. It's my friend. Which just makes this all the more awkward. I mean, we are friends, and I don't want to see our friendship destroyed because of this...awkwardness.

Why?!

2007-08-07T22:50:00.000+08:00

Why? Why is it that when my friend and I walks together, people invariably assumes he's the younger of us? And why does people exclaim loudly "Huh!?!?" when I told them my age? And why the heck does people say "But you're balding!!" when I say I'm only 2 years older than them? And why does people insist of saying to be confidant regardless of how you look when they obviously unabashedly prefer fawning over a stud who happens to be a well known womanizer?

I don't think you'll be getting what I'm trying to say even if I expound it into several pages long, so there...good night.

Busy as hell!

2007-08-06T19:30:00.000+08:00

Jerry, so sorry...I am not able to log in until late this month, earliest is on 20th. Reason being...arghhh! Fuck it! I hate the rules and regulations! Had to do this and do that just to get one lousy certification! Right now, shouting amongst ourselves to settle our documentation to be submitted. Damn stressful man. You shouldn't do it when the boss is pressing your arse to hurry up, and finish it in less time than you really need.

There's another thing, this morning when I was in the cab heading to work, I had a thought. Unfortunately, due to the stressful nature of my day today, I've forgotten all about what it was about. But it has something to do with how the cabbies in Singapore mistreat their passengers...or something like that. Hmm, really awful right the way cab fares seems to rise and rise?

わるい！

2007-08-01T20:11:00.000+08:00

Wow, the economy these days are bad. Considering the rise and rise of the stock market for the past several weeks, this slump in stock prices don't really come as a surprise. In fact, a few has been waiting anxiously for it. I am one of them. However, I made one investment mistake...I bought when the market is high. Sigh...now, I have got to let go or else I wouldn't have enough to make my dough.

Was it lucky or unlucky?

2007-07-31T22:50:00.000+08:00

Jerry, you said it's lucky of me because I have not started on the road yet, so, this hurt is just transient. It implies that IF I did start, then the hurt will be harder hitting...right? Hmmm...in a way, it's logical, and on the other hand, it totally ignores the point that, "To have been loved once is better than to not have been loved at all."

But, I concur, the hurt would be so much more the harder. But now, I'm okay.

My father called me the other day telling me to go home. He said that there's a girl he wanted to introduce to me. Sounds like an arranged meeting with the ultimate end of marriage. I know I'm relatively desperate, but this? This is just too weird! I know Japanese still does it, but heck, I'm not used to this man!

Crash and Burn!

2007-07-27T13:35:00.000+08:00

It is truly a case of crash and burn. She rejected me...as I expected. Well...can't hurt to try actually. Now, I can forget about her and concentrate on someone else. Hmm...I must have not liked her as much as I thought I did...because I'm not feeling much sadness at all. Disappointing and surprisingly uplifting at the same time. Weird.

Crash and Burn...ing?

2007-07-26T22:55:00.000+08:00

I don't know. I don't know what is her response. :(

I went to class, and the flower was delivered between 1430-1730. So logically, by the time my class starts at 1920, she would know about it, and I thought maybe I might be able to see some sort of reaction. Nada.

Class starts and ends pretty much normally with me still goofing around. By the end of class, I wanted to stay back and ask her out tomorrow, but...the other students has other ideas, and managed to draw out the time they spent with her, and shortening the time I have to talk...which was none at all. The office clerk was ushering us out of the class then. Sad...sad...

So what am I to do? Please tell me. I've sent her flower, but what this means...I have no idea. A dozen of roses will lose to a single sunflower? How so? It this romantic? I have no idea. Enlightenment please!

There...

2007-07-25T20:01:00.000+08:00

There...I've done it! I've sent her a bouquet of flowers, aptly called Love Declaration.

Here is a photo.
I hope she likes it and give me a favorable response. Which I should be able to know...tomorrow.

Shashiburi

2007-07-23T21:20:00.000+08:00

Yep, it's being a long time. But here I am with another ranting.

Remember when I told you guys about a date I arranged with her? And she said she would like to bring a friend out together? Well and it turns out she didn't, and I did? Come to think of it, it was stupid of me. Maybe, in hindsight, that the fact I asked a women out, plus the fact that I said "If I am alone with you, I wouldn't know what to talk about.", could the the roadblock that makes her think I am not confidant and hence decided I am not worth her time. In hindsight, in hindsight...I come to think that as true. It's so logical. After that night, her attitudes towards me was so different. I'm saying now, "Hot damned! I'd had a chance and I blew it!"

Now, according to the latest rumors, she is seeing someone else. Someone who celebrated her birthday, just the two of them. But there's no rule saying you can't ask her out now that she's seeing someone else is there? I will try to ask again...and again, until she tell me point blank that my advances are not welcome. Come to think of it, nothing ventured, nothing gained. On Singapore's National Day...we will go to dinner. Sushi. Nice.....

I wonder what will happen on that night...

Quicky

2007-07-14T10:21:00.000+08:00

A quick posting...again, before I go out to play.

Yesterday, I almost died. Well...not exactly as I am not really that near to the place of incident. However here's what happened.

We were preparing to hoist a piece of equipment for repair purposes when suddenly, the strap we used, a cloth type (maybe it's a fibre, I don't know) of strap just give way and snapped! I was standing 2 meters away. At first I do not know what the heck happened. When I heard a loud noise, and saw the metal cradle supporting the equipment just swing wildly, I thought I was going to hit me! Lucky for me, it just hit some pieces of machinery nearby. Since there are two locations for the straps, one where I'm sequestrated to monitor, and the other one 2 meters away, I thought the one that broke is on my side. And the strap on my side is metal! If it breaks...bye-bye neck. Hello underworld!

Well...not really a comprehensive audit of what's going on...but luckily, no one was hurt. This getting hurt at work things is really starting to get on my nerves.

Arghhh!

2007-07-08T20:19:00.000+08:00

I don't know. I really don't know. Here I am, in front of my computer, with nothing to do! Can you believe it? Nothing to do!!!

It's not like I've finished playing all my games. There are like six games sitting on my desktop, waiting for me to play them. Begging me to play. But It's just, when I look at them, they don't look too appealing. Then I thought why not go out for a while, someplace where there's lots of people milling about, and I did that, well, almost. I mean I got my cloths changed, my shoe's on, and I'm out of the house walking towards the bus stop, but then, inexplicably, I thought of how depressing it would be, not to mention how humiliating it would be for me to sit alone one a bench biting into my burger gawking at couples and families and groups of friends passing me by in Orchard Road. It would be devastatingly depressing. I shouldn't even be so depressed! I'm not even sure why am I so depressed.

Okay, maybe it's too strong a word, but hey, nothing catches my interest, and so many things interests me! Lil, yes, you Lil, you said that be courageous, I am positively trying really hard. Am I supposed to do something when she is busy prepping for a major exam? It's sad yes...I'm sad, also true. I'm blabbering, I know. I'm a sad excuse for a guy, don't I know it! I keeping mopping up the floor...trust me, no one knows more about being just a mop up than me. That's what I hate about myself. :(

Let's see, positive thoughts...not working. Positive attitudes...not working. Whining...ingratiating. Typing out my thoughts and feeling...passes time. Working out a solution to my conundrum...I don't even know where to start! Sure, start by telling her straight up, but a dozen voices will say "NO, start by being friends first!". Which is what I have been doing for the past half year! And it is clearly not helping improve my situation! :_(

I...I just do not want to be so alone...hard to be alone when everyone around you are...have someone but not you...even friends...they have their own life...it's...sad...

It is so hard ya' know?

2007-07-08T17:34:00.000+08:00

Well...it's another boring Sunday afternoon...reminds me of the Lemon Tree song...anyway, as I was saying, it's just another boring Sunday afternoon, with nothing to do and clouds in the sky. It's almost dinner time and she has yet to call be back...not that she has a reason to call...call me good-for-nothing-waiting-by-the-phone-for-it-to-ring kind of guy...but who cares?

After the successful party we had last Thursday,...nothing happens. Oh yea, she emailed me to thank me and all, but it just felt so empty. I got nothing to do today, or tonight for that matter and I thought I'll just ask my classmates out for dinner. Big surprise they didn't reply. Go figure! SMS only already so hard to reply. I wonder what would happen if I called?

Right, so here I was typing this stupid entry which I have no idea what is it about at all, hoping or rather wistfully thinking of calling her up, no, not her, her;my classmate! and a few others to come out of their beady little room and into the streets to eat of all things, dinner! 'Cos what we need is more than just class interaction, and talking about Japanese language this and that is fascinating I'm sure, but talking about something other than that is...phenomenally more interesting, don't you think so? I mean, my colleagues and I can talk about anything, debate about everything, and arguably, argue about something under the sky whenever we're together...which is basically everyday, so I ask you, why can't when we (as in the classmates and the teacher...oh so pretty!!) ever meets, we only talk about mundane class stuffs?

This bugs me. >.<

Quick Posting

2007-07-07T12:30:00.000+08:00

Thought I'll make a quick posting this morning. About something called Omega Point.

According to Wikipedia, Omega Point;

"describe the ultimate maximum level of complexity-consciousness".

An evolution process that converges on a final unity the body and mind.

Simply put, it means that we (in this case, humans) will evolved to be so advanced that the fundamental laws of nature can be manipulated by the mere assertion of our mind, just as we manipulated electricity by the mere flick of a switch. It is the final destination where even transcendence is but one step in the right direction.

Are we there yet? Not yet we are not. I'll tell you more when I've finished watching Stargate SG-1.

Party!!!

2007-07-05T23:27:00.000+08:00

Well...it's not exactly a party to brag about, but we did good by bring a huge smile into her life tonight. True that we can't manage to get her out for supper after class, but hey, she is happy, who am I to complain?

But I am curious as to the identity of the mysterious people who manage to 'caught' her attention, and go out with. Crossing my fingers they're not guys! I can't stand competition...not over her!

Anyway, I can't really show you guys any picture of her, since I do not have her permission to post it up, but I do have a photo of the cake we brought! Eat your hearts out baby!

Ahh...

2007-07-03T23:03:00.000+08:00

I got something to type, but for me to write it here, now, would be very long in coming, because it will be quite long. So, I will dwell on another aspect of life...birthdays. :D

This Thursday, my lovely teacher, T-sensei will celebrate her birthday! Yatta!!! And we, meaning a couple of my friends in class, plans to celebrate with her...in class. We have put in an order for a cake, a Blackforest type cake. Quite pretty. Quite...cute if I might add. A bit on the upper range, but hey, if it's for a teacher this pretty, I'm even willing to spend more! She is worth it! :D

I think, no...I feel, Thursday night would be a good time to ask her out again. I plan to take her out for sushi...along with several of my classmates. We have been planning this for quite sometime now. :)

Not another soapy lame story!

2007-06-28T23:42:00.000+08:00

Yes, unfortunately it is.

I must be a thinker. A philosopher. Someone who always thinks, and when I think, I always think too much. Call me the thinker. It fits me. It is me.

Saw her wear a necklace, the kind (well, actually I don't know what kind) that significant others always give to the other half. It is a double strand (or is it called loop?) necklace with a heart shape on each. It's a pretty necklace. The guy is lucky guy.

Anyway, planning a surprise birthday next week. Shhhhhh.......don't tell her that. :D

This is spinning me head!

2007-06-25T22:26:00.000+08:00

Ever watch movies or read stories, heard tales or just been told that there are bad guys so bad they'd kill just for fun? Ever heard of bad guys so bad they kill people just because they don't like the way other people looks at them?

What about bad guys/villains in movies who doesn't seem to hesitate to kill an accountant who stole money from him, but wouldn't do jack about killing other people to take their money? Put it in another way, why the hell are they accumulating money anyway when they can just take whatever they want? They want a car? Just kill/threaten the sales guy and drive away the damned car. But no, they make a flashy show of how much money they have and buy the car! That is so oxymoron! I mean, bad guys are supposed to be bad. They takes things. They don't give them back. They don't pay for it, and yet, in most of the movie villains I've seen, they like lots and lots of money, to do what? Jackshit!

And one more thing, why are he comic book heroes like to take over the world? What's the point in that? I mean why take over the world by killing it's people? Or like in the recent Rise of the Silver Surfer movie, why would Dr. Doom want to take over the world when Galactus is coming in to eat the planet whole?! What is the point? Honestly guys, I have no idea how these freakingly idiotic villains think!

My Freudian take on these? I think that these villains are just like us good guys. They want the same thing we want. They live the same life we live. They want to experience normal life. NORMAL! Hence the money thing. But they just use the wrong method to get the moolah which of course makes them the bad guys. As they say, "It's not where you go, it's how you get there that determines who you are." True words.

And finally, about the villain who wnt's to take over the world by having people killed or worship him are just plain......I don't know, I don't know what to think of them. Crazy perhaps? Stupid? Morons? Maybe. That's what they'll be called for letting a bunch of idiots in yellow spandex kick their arse!

Men

2007-06-23T12:51:00.000+08:00

...are creatures of purpose, and sometimes reason.

Without reason, men are simply, not men.

Without purpose, men are dead.

I am without purpose. Never had one since leaving my university. Can't find one. What is my purpose? I don't know for like I said, I have none. This is so very depressing. This is so very educational in a morbid sort of way. I know of this because I looked for it myself...on the island of Sentosa.

Went there this morning t see what the fuss is about the place. It's small. It's boring. It's depressing. That's my take when you go there alone. Sure, I could ask my friends to go along, but who? They have families to attend to. They have girlfriends to accompany. They have boyfriends to pester. They just do not want to spend time with a loser single male like me. That is why I left the island even before the hour is up. I couldn't wait to get home. Home is my refuge. Home is where I lie before the next storm.

Home is where lonely people like me belong. Outside...outside is for couples, families and friends. I have none of them here. Too far away. In another country. In another life.

I need a purpose to stay alive.

Wowwee!

2007-06-21T21:10:00.000+08:00

Sigh....another wad of moolah blown on an inconsiderate round of impulse buying spree. What did I buy? My Kryptanite. Books! These are the titles.
See the two extra tidings? The black colored phone is my newest handphone, the SGH-900 (Ultra 12.9) from Samsung. Surprisingly, it is a good phone, function-wise, and content wise. However, the slider suffers from...sliding finger holds. How ironic.

And the silver colored flip-open is my one and only electronic dictionary, without which my life as a serious Japanese Language learner will be compromised.

Nice aren't they? Cost me a bomb. They better be worth it...and they are! :D

Confidence

2007-06-19T22:14:00.000+08:00

It's a nasty word...for some anyway. For me...it is. Hahaha.

Let me tell you what happened...or didn't happen. Yes, this is yet another one of those boring stories of mine which more often than not really happens to me. So sue me because my life is so boring! :p

I just got back from work today, and I got me thinking, it's been a long time, a few days (I think), and I wanted to ask my friend out for a little dinner. Not tonight of course, but sometime down the weekend. But just as I was ready to dial her number, my fingers stopped in mid air, and I wonder to myself, "How should I sound across to her? Confidant? Reluctant? Expectant?" I answered myself, "With confidence of course!". This got me thinking into how or what should I say to pass me off as confident sounding, and I drew a blank.

If somebody on the street asked me what is the meaning of confidence, I'll laugh, look him in the face, and then just go blank, because I just realized, I have no idea what it means! Sure, I know it means something like believing that you are correct, or very sure you will win something or not afraid of the situation or something like that; but that didn't tell me what confidence mean. If I don't know what confidence mean in such a general sense, how could I be expected to be 'confident' when I'm talking to a women? Which, by the way, is the reason why I brought this up. And the question that brought this up will be revealed.....

Back to my story, what did I do? I SMS my friends, and to be fair in the assessment, I asked two of my female friends, and two of my guy friends. Three replied...hmmm, goes to show how important my SMS is to them...

Anyway, one of them replied something like these:
It mean don "uhhmm", no "uhh", no pauses in between, no eye looking elsewhere, don "ehh", sort of like tat la :), big body language mostly...

Well...do YOU know what he meant? I do...up until the "uhh" part. Beyond that, I have no idea.

So, from a women's perspective, what does being confident mean? By the way, the question I posed them was; "People say that when you're talking to a women, they like guys who are confident. What do they mean by this, 'confident'?"

Your take?

Well

2007-06-16T22:02:00.000+08:00

Well...all is well. Nothing to report. Oh, except for one small detail. Watched Shrek 3, Ocean's 13 and Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer. All in all, Fantastic 4's the best.

So Happy!

2007-06-14T20:34:00.000+08:00

I am so happy today. :) I got my exam results yesterday and I was smiling all night long. That was why I didn't tell you the good news then. Hahahahaha. So happy. Below are my results.

Hehehe, see me? No bad isn't it? 46 out of 200++ students. Not the top 10, but still, I did pretty. well...for a beginner. :D

Finally, I can start to pull myself off this sinking feeling ship. Wish me luck, and better yet, give them to me. :D

So nervous!

2007-06-12T23:32:00.001+08:00

Oh no! Tomorrow is the day! So nervous I could hear my teeth clattering...and spoiling my fillings.

Yeah, the big day...well, at least for my Japanese Language course; the day the results are released. Really very nervous. Crossing my fingers! Crossing my toes! Crossing my tongues! Crossing my eyes! Cross-...waitaminute! I only have one tongue! Uncrossing my tongue.

*Deeeeeep breath!

How will I fare? I hope I do alright! Oh man, I am so gawd-damned nervous! I don't think I could wok tomorrow. Urghhh! I wanna throw up.

...

...

I'm gonna go throw up now. 'nite.

What did I do wrong?

2007-06-11T23:41:00.000+08:00

Saw her online just now. On MSN. Messaged her. Waited for half and hour. No reply. Then pooh, offline. Sad? Of course I am!

Saw my friend online on MSN just now. Messaged her. Chatted for five lines...then stopped. Asked one question. Never reply. Half and hour later, typed "Oklar, good nite then." Instant reply, "Nite."

I mean, what the hell?! Is there really a need to ignore me until this extent?

It is short...deal with it!

2007-06-11T21:09:00.000+08:00

And I have dealt with it...not one minute ago. I called my friend up, and asked her out. Though she gave me a non-committal answer, it's okay. I'm good. I still don't have a clue about T-sensei though. But fret not, this Wednesday, results will be out. Let's see what hand fate decides to play.

I challenge thee!

What a waste

2007-06-10T23:03:00.000+08:00

My life is a complete waste. 3 years at the same company and I can't even get a decent salary. Not to mention that I'm twenty-seven and still very much single. Sigh...curve balls...I hate them when life throws one at me.

I don't even know what I'm good at! Except maybe talking about myself...Is that even ego? 'ya think?

Life's short, live it...

Indeed.

Weekend

2007-06-08T23:06:00.000+08:00

Like water said..."Nothing like a bored weekend."

Yeah, I concur, nothing like a bored weekend. Which brings me to another point. Next month, there will come a time when I could have a chance to play tour guide to several Japanese students. I might have told you this, but I do not know if I should sign up to guide them. One biggest barrier is the language problem. They will struggle to speak English as that is the language they're learning, while I on the other hand will speak Japanese with them, in an effort to master Japanese. Looking at this case, wouldn't there be a conflict of language?

Anyway, one of my acquaintance has signed up. Maybe I should sign up as well?

Technology

2007-06-07T21:31:00.000+08:00

First before other, I found out why I was so down this morning, and incidentally last night. Friends I made in class. Apparently, they are just, how do they say it in English, classmates? Friends during class, but after class, fly away. There seems to be an equivalent English phrase describing a similar situation, but applies to couples...what was it.....?

Back to topic, when I was a kid, roughly six or seven, my brother and I would sneak into our parent's room; quietly while they are still sleeping; in the morning, pick up my father's watch on the bed side, and play with the stopwatch mode. I remember that I don't know what I should push to get into that mode, so I just press randomly, until I see some changes, and voila, I'm there. Therein, I start the watch, stop it, start it, stop it just for the fun of it. My brother just stays there looking at what I did, probably fascinated by my cleverness in manipulating the watch.

Now, it was a time when I did not know of the concept of reset, and so, at the first stirring of my father, I just stops the watch, put it down on the stand, and sped out of the room with my brother giggling behind me into our room, dive into our bed and pretend to sleep. Our mattress would shook because we were struggling to contain our laughter. :D

Anyway, the point of this story is, the next morning, when we went to play with the watch again, imagine our surprise then when we found that the stopwatch has returned to zero, and that we I had to find the stopwatch mode yet again, even though I distinctly remember its still in stopwatch mode. It was magic. That's what we thought then.

Now I know better. But how many of us, without being exposed to modern marvels will characterize these modern marvels as magic the first time we observe them. Popular media such as television shows has a saying to this effect; "Any sufficiently advanced technology will be seen as possessing of godly powers and magic to those who do not understand them." That is what I'm getting at.

In this fast paced world of ours, will we see some technology so advanced it seems magical in operation? Are they here now?

ねむいではありません。

2007-06-07T01:28:00.000+08:00

I can't sleep. I don't know why. What time is it now? One thirty in the morning? And I can't sleep! Something' definitely wrong with me.

Why does women has such control over men, and yet claim men are manipulative, I'll never know. I was never in the position to ask one. Sigh.....たかまつせんせい、どうですか。

:_(

Massacre

2007-06-06T21:46:00.000+08:00

It was a massacre! Today's oral test was a massacre, not only in the spirit of the word, but in emotion as well. But overall, I did pretty good, and I am confidant of a passing grade.

However, this is not why I am feeling so down right now. Yep, it's about her again. Apparently, I do not rate very high in her opinion of me. All these while, it was I who thought she had a resemblance of feeling towards me; I am wrong. She has neither. She didn't run scared because of my advances last week. She was already running scared since the first time we went out. :-( This is truly depressing. And I disillusioned myself into thinking I might have a glimmer of hope with her.

Class is over. Exam done. And I don't have a way to contact her. Neither do my friends. I only got her email. But it's too impersonal, and she does not know my address. Today is a sad day; for more than one reason. The thirteenth will also be a sad day. Test scores will come out that day. Will I be as disappointed in my ability (or non-ability) in judging peoples' feelings? Time will tell...which just means, I'm running out of it.

むずかしいね！

2007-06-04T22:56:00.000+08:00

It was hard. Very hard. My head was filled with perspire. The butterflies in my stomach were fluttering even though I gave them enough to last three lifetimes. The exam came; the exam nullifies; and the exam decapitates my heart right off the vein! It was so damn hard! Arghh!

Even after the exam, I had one reaction that for normal people would only occur BEFORE an excruciatingly painful exam; the urge to throw up! YES! I was feeling like throwing up! I don't know what the heck happened to me, I just feel like throwing up. Even go so far as the toilet bowl waiting for the dinner to come up. Lucky for me, it didn't feel like making the trip. But it made me queasy after. Man, talk about morning sickness!

On another note, another useless updates on the status of the courtship. She totally ignored me today. :( Not that she sees alot of me tonight with her invigilating a different class and all, but when we left, she passed by me without even giving me a glance! Sigh...what is there to do? First the exam totally threw me out of whack, leaving me doubtful I will get a good score, and now 'that' had to happen. Maybe Evee was right; she's a Japanese. I'm a Chinese. Water and oil. Never mixes well.

Two days to go. We'll see.

So hard!

2007-06-01T22:57:00.000+08:00

Do you know the method to learn a language fast and effective? Total immersion training. It means that you immerse yourself in the life of the language you want to learn. For example, you can't really learn English if you live in say, Egypt. They may have the best English language teacher in the world, but it all means squat if you do not use it, which is highly unlikely in Egypt. However, if you're in England for example, learning English will be more effective and faster because you are forced to utilize it or perish.

Thus is the case for me. I am currently learning Japanese. And I can't learn it properly unless I immerse myself in Japanese life. Ergo, I need to go to Japan and live there for at least a few months. Since I can't just leave my home here in Singapore now, I must do the next best thing; getting Japanese friends. There will be one chance when my language school has an exchange program with its counterpart in Japan. Several Japanese students will be here on tour, and there are in need of tour guides. Could this be my chance to polish my rusty beginner's Japanese?

Another strategy I'm adopting, or rather try to adopt is listening to native Japanese speakers speak...24 hours a day. How? Listening to their radio broadcast. Sadly I have yet to find online any radio station from Japan that does live Internet broadcast or streaming. At most I've found a few with prerecorded talk shows, and the rest are all music broadcast based. I want...no, I need for them to be talk radio. Talk show radios where people talk and talk and talk. Sigh...a little help?

It's Over

2007-05-30T22:58:00.000+08:00

Well, it's over. The classes I mean. The only chance of ever getting her number now, or to ask her out for that matter is to go to the final exam next week, and somehow get her to talk to me alone, or in the presence of an accomplice. Or ask my accomplice to ask for the number, which is also a good thing...anyway, can't do that. Just not my style.

I'm going to go study for my final exams now. Not that I would cram a lot into my head now. It's filled with what should I do tomorrow now that it's a public holiday. I suppose I could go report to work, but what is the point of working if you're not putting in 110%?

And please can somebody tell me how the hell I could cheer myself up? Now, I'm just listening to this awesome song.

#...running just as fast as we can,
holding on to one another's hand,
trying to get away into the night,
and then you put your arms around me,
and we tumble to the ground,
and then you said,

I think we're alone now,
there doesn't seem to be anyone around,
I think we're alone now,
the beating of our hearts is the only sound.#

Yawn...

2007-05-29T22:58:00.000+08:00

Sleepy. Bored. Angst. Bottled. Tired. Hungry. Down. Shy. Love-shy.

And can you believe that the last one; love-shy, is actually a described psychological disorder (however, it is still being debated)? Man, all these while I thought it's nothing but hype. According to the symptoms, and target group; which i think meant the people most likely to suffer from it, are exactly like what I've experienced for the past...well...several year...ish? Long story short, all the signs of love-shy, I exhibit. Hell, even most of the effects of it are true. and some of the causes. Man, that guy is really spot on.

On another front, I must apologize for the low quality of my previous post. I copied and paste it from my alma mater's forum, without cleaning up the language. Sorry about that. *sic.

PotC3: At World's End, Blades of Glory

2007-05-27T13:03:00.000+08:00

phew! movie marathon again yesterday. first up is pirates of the Caribbeans 3. well......its bad actually. really bad. the first pirates was better than this. the second pirates pulled it down a notch. and the third pirates totally blew it all. pthh! i mean, really man. all the qualities that made pirates 1 such a hit is johnny depp at his wackiest! and sadly, the third installment don see him doing much at all. story wise, its all helter-kelter. the leads, in this case, orlando and hat skinny english lass, wats her name, keira, blew it. big time! arghh! 'nuff said.

the second movie, which i am almost reluctant to watch, is actually quite, okay okay, very funny, is blades of glory. i thot it's gonna be one big gay fest, but luckily, its not. its the total opposite! watch out for katie something. i donno who's the actress, mayb i do, just forgot the name, she is HOT with a capital...everything! [COLOR="White"]and who's the lead's name....something lar, got to grab her breast! wowwee! not once, but twice! so dead-pan face! funny and unusually arousing. gasp! man, u could really grab that asset![/COLOR]

i mean, u really gotta watch that movie. it is seriously funny. especially with the decapitation part. wickedly funny. all of us, yes, all in the cinema were jumping out of our seats with laughter!

Sicker And Tirer

2007-05-26T23:41:00.000+08:00

Tirer. I don't think it's a real word. Yep, just confirmed it with my trusty dictionary. It's not a real word. However, that word just about describes my feeling right now...PISSED OFF!!!!!

My modem's acting up again. And I've called the provider...yet again. Damn. FUCK DAMN!!! That is how mad I am after this ordeal! During this ordeal!!! Arghhh!!! My connection's being going on and off for me for weeks now. Hell, even now, I'm typing this without even knowing if this will publish...assuming the line don't fuck me in my arse right about now...okay, it didn't...yet.

Come Tuesday, they're sending another pawn to collect my piss. Hope they bring a big can...'coz I'm not there to greet him. Fuck damn! This better works out.....HOT FUCK DAMN!!!

Sigh...what is this world coming to when you have to swear on a blog instead of a real person...like...like...like those bastards at ISP?!!

One word...

2007-05-25T23:12:00.000+08:00

こんなん。

Servitude

2007-05-25T19:43:00.000+08:00

I...don't know what to say. I don't know if my current down state stems from my illness, my medication, my missing her or my perception of her imminent rejection of me.

On the positive side of things, she could be withholding her number to discourage me from wasting my time pursuing other things when I should be studying for my final exam. On the negative side of things, she could be withholding her number because she is holding out for the man, her partner at her weekly salsa dancing class. I mean, how could I compete with a man who hold her close, moves her body to his, and feels her every breath when they're dancing...salsa. A close contact dance. Sensual. The man could even be muscularly built, manly yet gentle. How could a women of her caliber resist? How could I prevail against such competition?

Patience versus aggressiveness... I don't know which is better. One quarter advice patience, another say to be, be more aggressive. Either way, be confidant. I have a friend who tried to woo a girl he fancies for a year before he failed. I do not have one year. I have 2 weeks. Unless I get her number, I've failed.

Crashed and Burning

2007-05-24T23:32:00.000+08:00

Steeled up my guts tonight to ask her for her telephone number. But...yep, you've guessed it, I failed. :(

How did I ask? Well, it's after class and after cleaning up my desk, I stood up, approached her, and asked her just like that. She asked me why do I need her number, so I replied that "So I call her about the lessons so far, since exam is coming." She looks apologetic (or was it pain?)-at least I thought it's apologetic because she grimaced, and declined to give me her number.

Personally, I think that the dating game is a trial and error thing. You try it on one person you fancy, and when it doesn't work, you try something else on another women, or try the same thing over and over again on different women until that one magical time when it worked. Previously, I tried many..."methods" or just approaches on different women when one failed. Now, I am determined to mine all my friend's experiences and use them on her. This time I tried asking for her number by giving a (now it seems) lame excuse, next time (next Tuesday incidentally) I'm going to ask for her number again...only this time, I'll say "So that I can ask you out for dinner."

What do you think? Too stupid? Too confident? Too soon?

Sick and Tired

2007-05-23T20:00:00.000+08:00

I feel so sick. In fact, I am sick. And tired. Did I said I was tired? The pain which I suffered from last Friday still has yet to abet. So tired everyday at work, which I might add indistinguishable from my daily attitude at work: totally indifference. Now made much worse. And I'm sick at home too. No games to play...okay, no new game to play. New movies has et to come to cinemas near me. And worse of all...I has yet to ask her out! I am such a loser. :(

What is it with me and cowardice? I can't find someone to talk to, to relate too. All my friends are just that, friends that you do not open up to. And others are not close enough. This blog is he only thing that allowed me to express myself. A listening ear. A faithful companion...well, not exactly. But at least it 'listens' to my woes without making a comment. Is it really so hard to find my missing heart?

Seven Year Itch

2007-05-21T23:38:00.000+08:00

Starting tomorrow, begins the first day of a seven year crusade. A day that will love in infamy, as we stood up to all that is right, and all that we hold dear......oops, sorry, wrong speech.

Seven classes to go. Seven sins to commit. Seven chances to commit. Seven wonders of the world. Seven disasters happening. Seven miles long road to walk. Seven dwarfs walking. Seven brothers speaks seven languages on the seventh minute of the seventh hour of the seventh day of the seventh month of the seventh year of the seventh millennia since humans started from Earth......oops...wrong story. ごめんね。Seven sentences with one too many...

My friends were right. I won't know what she really thinks about me unless I ask her. I will never find out how she really feels about me unless I ask her...discreetly of course. And I will never ever, for the life of me, find my significant other if I just sit here in front of this damned computer writing about what I did or didn't do and nothing else. If anything I learned from watching TV, playing games, watching arguments, seeing people is that, life is too short to be spent trying to figure out whodunit. The simplest course of action would be...ask her!

LIVE HAPPY!! LIVE LIFE!!!

New Counter

2007-05-19T12:03:00.000+08:00

Well...got a new page layout now. So put in a new web-counter. Not that there are many people who came. But, still...new counter for a new page.

Finally!

2007-05-18T19:45:00.000+08:00

Well, finally Blogger got its acts together. I wasn't able to post for weeks while Bloggers sort out the mess. Now......I don't know what to write because its being long. Have at 'ya baby.

Equality

2007-05-05T17:15:00.000+08:00

Hmm, many talked of equality like it's a good thing. And many more talked of it as nothing more than a nuisance that over-charged feminists bandied about in the newspaper. But what crosses, I think, many mind is; "What the hell is equality?"

Is it gender balance in terms of job allocation? Salary allocation? Is it treatment? What actually is equality? I can't even ask the right question because I am not sure what answer I would expect to hear.

Some say it's the equality in education. But we already have that. In fact, there are now more women in education than are men. Compare this with just six decades ago, and you will see the meteoric rise of "Girl Power".

Some also say it's the equality in job allocation and compensation packages. Honestly now, though there are some improvements in the number of females working in today's globalised world, there are admittedly more discrimination in hiring practices. These are reinforced by the feminist movement that uses nothing less than the full public opinion machinery against the perceived perpetrator of this practice. But, are all evasive companies which employs male in preference to female truly guilty of gender discrimination? Have the feminist consider the possibility that the company might have no need for female employees?

I mean, take for example, how could a company be hiring a women to be a male actor when they can hire men? Okay okay, this is an oversimplification of an example, but my point stands: companies tend to hire people based on needed qualities and abilities. That the majority of employees are male is not proof of gender discrimination. It could just very well mean that no women are interested in the job, or they are unable to meet the criterias for the job. These things happen.

Speaking of gender equality, have you ever wondered why there's a Family Charter, Women's Chatter, but for the life of you, you can't find their equivalent in Male Charter? Does this mean that men does not need specialized protection? Men who beat women are severely punished, but women who beat men are said to be protecting themselves. So I ask, it is alright for a women to beat the crap out of any men, and the men can't even complain about it? And it's NOT alright for men to be hitting any women because there's a little piece of law that protects any women from physical harm? Hmm? Isn't this discrimination already?

Funny isn't it: That those who are discriminated against are the first to discriminate others.

やった！

2007-05-04T19:27:00.000+08:00

Finally, I went out with my love interest. You know who. I can't say anymore because she might be reading this, and I do not want to burst the bubble...just yet.

Wow, at first I thought she's going to get some of her friends to go as well, which it turns out not to be. Her friends' not feeling super that night, so, in hindsight, should have left us both alone. But, hindsight being what it is, already invited another friend of mine, when the first couldn't make it, to go, making the encounter (should I call it a date?) a group of three. Man, how we chatted!

The time we start, 930pm. and the time we end, 1am...the next day! 3 freaking hours! And I wasn't even aware of the time! How it flies when good times are nigh! Oh, I miss last night! Good omen is that she, (yes, HER!) suggested we should go for sushi sometimes. (Don't ask me why she want to ask, it's a long story.) BUT, i neglected or was it ignorant to the fact that she might be asking us (my friend and I) out for a second meeting? Should I ask her out again, this time for dinner instead of supper?

Hmm, maybe I should.

It's A Conspiracy!

2007-04-24T22:54:00.000+08:00

I'm telling you, it is a conspiracy that I am not fated to ask her out. She, you know who. Conspiracy because everything that I did today leading up to the crucial moment always has something happening that prevented me from going the last mile.

Fresh in the morning, i shaved. But I didn't noticed I missed a spot until I felt it when I was stroking my chin in deep contemplation. First bad omen.

Then, as I went to wash up, I noticed the time; 5:15 pm. Ten minutes earlier than usual! That alone should've told me what I had planned is not going to go as planned. Second bad omen.

Finally, after class, which is the time I plan to take her aside and ask her privately; as opposed to announcing to the whole class; to go out, along came Polly! No, not Polly Polly. Just some student asking her questions about today's lesson for so long until I have no time to ask her mine before the night guardsman kicked me out of the class. Damn, why did the girl want to ask the questions, of all nights, she chose tonight! Arghh! Spoil my plan only. I was so psyched! I was ready! I was defeated by a cheesecake of coincidence called fate!

This Thursday still on. Lucky for me, I got backup plans.

I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain...

2007-04-16T21:34:00.000+08:00

I yelled at my first official complaint tonight. Not half an hour ago. Damn, that makes me feel bad. I mean, it makes me shakes all over, and I don't mean in a good way. Shaking with furious energy is a likely label.

Makes me miss my sweet Takamatsu-sensei right now. Sigh...weekdays are the worst. I have to endure 5 days of boredom before I can see her again. Infatuation or crush? I wanna know...

Learning Japanese now has become sort of like a semi full time job now that it is getting harder, with not just the basic hiragana. It's katagana and kanji thrown all together. I'm having a hard time trying to absorb it all. Maybe I should ask one of the clever students to tutor me? Maybe even walk her home in the rain.

I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain...

Grinding

2007-04-14T10:32:00.000+08:00

Have you ever played any online game before? Specifically Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game like Ragnarok Online or 9Dragons? Well, I never actually played RO before, but 9Dragons, well...what can I say. I am addicted to it. Even now, in between typing this entry, I am actually playing it.

What did I want to whine about today? After the fiasco with the complaint letter a few days ago, is this: I am levelling and grinding, but my level still stays the same. Why? That's because I want to live my life, not playing 24/7, unlike some of my friends here.

If I devote as much as them to playing exclusively one game, then by God, I will be the best already, but did I do that? NO! Why? That's because I'm playing another massively popular game, Command & Conquer 3: Tiberium War. So, playing two games at once, and slot in a couple of movie sessions, where the heck do I get the time to play 9Dragons full time?

Complaint

2007-04-09T22:10:00.000+08:00

I wrote my first complaint letter to a major corporation just now. My grouse was the frequent and extremely frustrating disruption of their service since the start of last month. Maybe even earlier for all I know, but of which I remain blissfully unaware until I stayed later than my usual bed time.

That's when I found out I have a problem, a really big problem. The first call for servicing did not do a good job of sniffling out the problem, and appointment was made for a second appointment, the earliest of which was available only in one week time. Not even that, sacrifices had to be made to apply for emergency annual leave and stay home to wait for the tech support to resolve my problem. What a hassle!

It was cleared, and declared solved...for the first few days. Then things gets "interesting" after that. Disruptions after disruptions followed. It's like a plaque, devouring my spare time pulling my hair out trying to figure out what the heck is the problem, until last night, when the latest disruption broke my back. I wrote the letter today, not an hour ago, after another series of disruption every five minutes. I wasn't being kind in my letter. I am not about to let some major corporation go just because they are top dog. Ohhh, NO! I will chase them and bite them in the arse until they solve my problem permanently... you know the rest.

If you know who or what I'm talking about, keep a low profile. We don't want to "embarrass" them now, do we?

So long...

2007-04-04T23:29:00.000+08:00

Wow! It has been a while since I last came here ain't it? Well...thought of alot of things to talk about here but due to the downed connection to the life-giver; The Internet; I didn't, and since I didn't write any of those thoughts down, I've forgotten what I was going to write, so, here it is, nothing. Zilch. Nada.

But I have a discussion with a friend recently, and well, she said one thing that rings true all the time; "Life is complicated." Her exact words. I know what she means. In making one decision, in fact before even making them, there are already consequences to be dealt with. What to do but to go ahead and make those decisions that needed to be made, and takes care of the consequences when we cross that bridge. Funny, this line has been used by another friend of mine when I floated an argument about what to do when we reached our objective of our current project. You see, we're raising funds to upgrade our old alma mater see, buying new furnitures and stuffs, painting the walls and the whole nine yards.

We have a target amount of fund collection that we hope will be fulfilled by this month's end, and I raise a question: What if we exceed that amount? What do we do with them? Well...what answer I get, you knew.

Anyway, it's getting late. See you again tomorrow...if I'm here.

Aimless...

2007-03-18T12:32:00.000+08:00

That's what happening now, aimless. Last year this month, I'd be working, yes, even on Sundays. Now...I just lost all motivation to work more than I really need. Do I need the money? Yes, of course. Then why didn't I go and get it? But then it would be buying my time with minuscule amount of payback. Will it be worth the time spent? No.

But, what better things I can do not spent in the company? I suppose I could write a book or otherwise think of a way to earn money. Open my own business or something. Furthering my education. You know, going to school is skulduggery, but fun at the same time. I think I'm just too lonely...

I saw Takamatsu-san last night at Orchard. Man, I missed her. I wanted to ask her to dinner there and then...but I didn't. Wonder what I was afraid of. Rejection? I should've being used to them by now. Success? Maybe...but laughable. She said she heard me talking on the streets, was I too loud? Does that turn her off? Hard to know...

Well...I'm going to class next Tuesday, so I hope I can do better than asking her about lessons.

E.V.E.

2007-03-17T22:55:00.000+08:00

E.V.E. stand for Embedded Vector Evolution...a term that is unknown to most because...it does not exit! Hahaha! Got you!

Okay sorry, mate. Well, going to talk about something. I was composing it in my head on the train when I'm on my way home just now, and now, I can't remember much of what I wanted to write. Even the introduction is not what I intended.

I went out for a little while to meet up with some of the forummers from my hometown of Sitiawan. It turns out that the one I'm meeting, actually, we meet is quite...how do you say it in English, forthright! It is a refreshing change of routines to be sure. Why? Everyday, day in and day out you see people on the streets and they are there, wearing that masks of them, making them not who they really are, and tonight, I actually got to know someone who is not afraid of speaking her mind. Hmm...interesting, yes?

Maybe she's just young, or naive or just plain immature. But there you have it, a SGD139 dinner that lets you glimpse into the depths of a person...it's worth the mudpie served.

Meeting

2007-03-17T16:18:00.000+08:00

Well...Im going to meet somebody today. Tonight actually. No idea who she is other than that she's my junior punya junior from way back when I'm in school. No other things to write about. Try to think of something first before I write. Cya!

Lost

2007-03-11T23:31:00.000+08:00

I am at a lost for words..... failure on my part last Thursday. Should've asked her out...try again next Thursday.

And on an unrelated note...I don't know why...no mood for working. Or typing for that matter.

Chinese New Year is almost over!

2007-02-27T23:02:00.000+08:00

Well...for my part, it is over...at least the holiday part. Now I'm back at work, slacking most of the time. Who wouldn't if your job kind of sucks right?

Anyway, there are many things to say, and unfortunately, I can't remember half of them, if any right now.

Well...good to be back. Bye.

しんえんおめでとございます！

2007-02-15T23:24:00.000+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year!

Here I would like to wish all Chinese the world over a very happy and prosperous Chinese New Year. And for all the others, a very fulfilling holiday.

See you all after the holidays!

Happy Valentines Day

2007-02-14T21:08:00.000+08:00

I don't know what's so happy about today. It's just a day in the year where florist makes a killing out of love sick puppies that humans prefer to call men. It is one day in the year that men goes crazy with their wallets buying worthless flowers for millions of mullah (which means money!) all for the sake of pleasing a girl that shouldn't require more than a few words of love from the men. Any girl who demand super expensive flowers on the day that flowers are at their most expensive are obviously not worth the money spent. I mean, you can only get laid for so much money. Any more, go find a hooker.

On another note, while I'm not at all crazy about this...commercialized, flower giving, wallet burning semi-holiday wannabe, I do know that flowers makes a girl's heart melt like hot knife through butter. This is a reliable tip I got from my erstwhile student, who is by the way, a woman, and as such, deserves attention. So guys, just buy the goddamn flowers and be done with the day already!

Jessie...wish I could spend the day with you. Too bad you don't read this. Oh, well, fate.

Depressed.....

2007-02-05T23:59:00.000+08:00

Tell me...am I depressed? Apparently I am, since last Thursday after Japanese class. Strange, I wonder why...

Anyway, did my Chinese New Year shopping. Man, it was therapeutic. Of course, my wallet took a big beating, but, hey, once a year rite? I brought one cargo pants, 3 cargo bermudas, 2 round neck T-shirts, and 4 polo tee lookalike. There's one other shirt by Giordano that I saw but they didn't have the size I want that I wanted to buy. S$29 only, cheap...relatively.

Anyway, all those shopping and game grinding doesn't seems to lift my spirits much. Hmm, maybe when I go to class tomorrow I might get cheered up by the supreme pure presence of my Japanese teacher?

One can only hope.

にほんごのべんきょわとてもむじかしいですね！

2007-02-02T22:08:00.000+08:00

WOW! Studying the Japanese language, though enjoyable, is definitely hard. Not only do I have to remember the vocabularies, things like nouns and adjectives, there are a whole lots of sentence structures that need memorizing as well! Damn! I need a long time for them all to sink in! But I see some girls in class are way better than I am. I am so embarrassed. As a self-confessed anime/manga lover, how can I lose to some upstart Japan Hour loving chica?!

Anyway, I would like to share with you today some of the problematic adjectives that I though I learned, but really, haven't.

ハンサム (hansamu) - handsome
ゆうめい (yuumei) - famous
きれい (kirei) - beautiful/clean
げんき (genki) - healthy/fine
ひろい (hiroi) - spacious
せまい (semai) - narrow
あまい (amai) - sweet
からい (karai) - spicy
あつい (atsui) - thick }(not for living things)
うすい (usui) - thin }(not for living things)
あつい (atsui) -hot }(drink/food)
つめたい (tsumetai) - cold }(drink/food)
あつい (atsui) - hot }(outside temperature)
さむい (samui) - cold }(outside temperature)
ながい (nagai) - long
みじかい (mizikai) - short
ふとい (futoi) - thick/fat }(round shaped, used for person/things)
ほそい (hosoi) - thin/slender }(round shaped, used for person/things)
おもしろい (omoshiroi) - interesting
つまらない (tsumaranai) - boring　
しずか (shizuka) - quiet
にぎやま (nigiyama) - lively/bustling

Well, that's it for today. おやすみなさい！

How leh?

2007-01-28T21:30:00.001+08:00

How do you approach a girl you fancy? Maybe a teacher? A colleague? A friend even?

I have this language teacher that I think is hot. Seriously kawaii. Okay, but not on movie star kawaii quality, but close enough. But the problem is, I don't know here well enough to actually ask her out. She might have a policy against dating her students maybe. Or she got so fed up with so many male students asking her out, or she's already in a relationship.

I don't know...I really wanted to get to know her better. Maybe ask her out with a couple of her students? Or ask her help in some office shit, and then ask her out with the excuse of thanking her? Or just go straight up to her and ask for a date?

Tips?

Suggestions?

Grrr...here goes my weakness again

2007-01-27T21:10:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I just hate myself...but I just can't resist the temptations! Now I know what every women felt when they go shopping!

The list of newly acquired book during tonight's trip to Kinokuniya.

Non-fiction:
KoreDake Book

Fiction:
Pandora's Star - Peter F. Hamilton
Judas Unchained - Peter F. Hamilton
Time's Eye - Author C. Clarke and Stephen Baxter
Sunstorm - Author C. Clarke and Stephen Baxter
Star Wars: Vision of the Future - Timothy Zahn

Excuse me?

2007-01-15T20:34:00.000+08:00

I just finished watching So, You Think You Can Dance? on TV. All the dancers are very very good. Don't know who won though, 'coz I didn't finish it.

Anyway, the judges, I gotta hand it to them. They give good review. What they are holds a lot of water. That is expected from someone who's who in dance business. They have been there. They have done that. And they can criticize all they want and still come out smelling like roses. But, can the audience make a good judgment as well?

According to some people I know, if the audience says something bad about the dance, for example, "Oh, you guys are not fast enough for for this dance...can you perhaps speed it up?"; the dancers will come back and says, "Oh really? why don't you come up here and do it yourself!"

Hmmm...were their egos hurt? I meant the dancer's enormous ego. So hurt they can't take a suggestion from the paying audience? Okay, non-paying audience, but audience nevertheless.

Here's the point I want to make; whereas some experts can say what you have done wrong, and if you don't like it, and challenge them to do it, they (the experts) probably could do it, because, well, they ARE the experts. BUT, what if some non-expert were to do the same and have the same challenge thrown at them? How will the non-expert react? Continue smiling and proclaim that they are not hurt by that insult? Do something and be embarrassed by the results? Retort that dancing is what dancers do and enjoying dance is what audience do, and if the audience DO NOT enjoy they dance, the can...NAY!...they have a right to demand that they be entertained!

So, you still think you can dance?

Nihongo!

2007-01-11T22:41:00.000+08:00

Well...tonight I took my first class in Japanese Language. Hehehe, good class it was. Pretty sensei as well. Kawaii!

Anyway, learned alot of new words today...Japanese words of course. Like aso, hiru, yoru which means, morning, afternoon and evening respectively. Also several congratulatory greetings, like tanjobi omedetogozaimasu, kekkun omedetogozaimasu and shinnen omedetogozaimasu, which means, respectively, happy birthday, happy wedding, and happy new year. The additive -gozaimasu gives the greeting a more respectful sound. Something like a very happy new year, and is preferred if you're speaking to someone of respect; like your teacher, boss, parents and elders. The greeting without -gozaimasu is more for friends, younger people, and people of the same social status.

Well...no need to bore you with what I've learned tonight. Oyasuminasai!

Eye EM Spectrum Sensitivity

2007-01-08T23:39:00.000+08:00

Hello. I see you!

Okay, so we live on Earth, like, du'UH! And our eyes, those two shiny looking piece of pearl-like contraption we like to spoil are adapted to a specific band of electromagnetic radiation wavelengths...right? Because our Sun, Sol, gives off light in a variety of wavelengths, but the most prominent of these wavelengths happen to fall within a thin band we egoistically call "visible light", our eyes, and the eyes of most life on Earth are adapted to receive this stimuli. A few others does away with eyes, and some see in infrared red.

Anyway, examining the construction of our eye, we can see that two types of cell groupings are responsible for sight; cone cells responsible for daylight vision, and rod cells for nighttime vision. Cones need a lot of stimulus to be activated, while rods need only a few photons. Now, assuming that we can manipulate our DNA; which by the way is way past the time to dilly dally; can we make our eyes a little more sensitive to other wavelengths? Say for example...infrared red? So instead of seeing "visible light", we'll be seeing...heat light. Now further assuming that we can see; for lack of a better word; heat, and not see the current "visible light" anymore, would "visible light" then be defined as heat light (aka infrared red, IR)?

What if we were made to be sensitive to both IR and VL (visible light)? Can we switch between them just like we blink? How about if we were able to see in ultraviolet? Or even perceive X-ray band wavelengths? Would it be possible? Would it be better than the cumbersome and unsophisticated machine equivalents? Would voyeurism rule?

I for one would like IR and VL vision rolled into two tiny packages that is our eye. That way, nighttime driving would be so much saner, and nighttime jungle trekking would be so much funner. What you like?