Several years ago, during my univercity days, I was part of a group of people who organises one particular outing for engineering students. My role in the group was as a facilitator of logistics. Another one of us, a girl, was one of the section heads then. We have met a couple of times before, and since the first time I saw her, way back in the first year of univercity, I felt that she was someone special, unique. I tried desperately to get to know her, to talk to her. My chance came when we took the same class one fine semester. There must be something on my face, becourse on that day, when I looked at her (more like staring at her), she just turned to me, smiled and said, "No air-cond...what to do...?" I don't know what to do but just smiled back at her. Something on my face must say, "I am desperate to talk to you!". It was sometime before we get together again in the same activity. She never indicated that she had anything for me, or even noticed I'm alive.
It was on the third day of a camping trip we organised, at night. Activities planned for the night was Night Owl, and a long walk back to camp for the participants. As organisers, we are to set "ambushes" along the way to scare them. We were paired off into teams of two. Suprisingly, the girl, who I will call FM, shouted out first, "I'll go with Andy!". My reaction at that time was shock and glee. My heart was pumping fast, but I just stood there, saying nothing, doing nothing; just waiting for FM to finish discussing things with the others, and pulled me towards our hiding place from where we will scare the participants.
It was raining that night, and I offered to shelter her, one: to keep her dry, and two: to keep her warm. Little did I guess that she would accept. We sat there, hunkered down under a tree, with my arms around her, my body pressing against her back, shielding her from the rain. We were to sit there for two hours. We mostly talked to pass the time. I was week then. I was sleepy. I wanted to sleep. I told her. She said she wanted to talk. She was annoyed at something. On hindsight, she was nervous. I do not know why then. I do not know why now.
After that night's activity, we exit our hiding place and find some warmth back at base camp. But since that night, we hardly ever talked to each other. During the last day, when we were busy asking for autographs, I asked for hers. She took my book, and after sometime gave it back to me. One sentence jump out at me: "...you are a weird and funny guy. You have been a very good friend..." (The words in itallics are not exact words.) I do not know what she meant then, I do not know wht she meant now. But.....
I have a wish. I wish that she would read my blog, and tell me about it. I would very much like to know: did I miss out on the biggest opportunity in my life, one which when done correctly, would mean that I would not be alone anymore, or I'm just too out of tune with the signals or lack thereoff she gave?
But I heard she's married now. Rumours...and that her boyfriend is a rich kid. Rumours...
