Arghhh!
I don't know. I really don't know. Here I am, in front of my computer, with nothing to do! Can you believe it? Nothing to do!!!
It's not like I've finished playing all my games. There are like six games sitting on my desktop, waiting for me to play them. Begging me to play. But It's just, when I look at them, they don't look too appealing. Then I thought why not go out for a while, someplace where there's lots of people milling about, and I did that, well, almost. I mean I got my cloths changed, my shoe's on, and I'm out of the house walking towards the bus stop, but then, inexplicably, I thought of how depressing it would be, not to mention how humiliating it would be for me to sit alone one a bench biting into my burger gawking at couples and families and groups of friends passing me by in Orchard Road. It would be devastatingly depressing. I shouldn't even be so depressed! I'm not even sure why am I so depressed.
Okay, maybe it's too strong a word, but hey, nothing catches my interest, and so many things interests me! Lil, yes, you Lil, you said that be courageous, I am positively trying really hard. Am I supposed to do something when she is busy prepping for a major exam? It's sad yes...I'm sad, also true. I'm blabbering, I know. I'm a sad excuse for a guy, don't I know it! I keeping mopping up the floor...trust me, no one knows more about being just a mop up than me. That's what I hate about myself. :(
Let's see, positive thoughts...not working. Positive attitudes...not working. Whining...ingratiating. Typing out my thoughts and feeling...passes time. Working out a solution to my conundrum...I don't even know where to start! Sure, start by telling her straight up, but a dozen voices will say "NO, start by being friends first!". Which is what I have been doing for the past half year! And it is clearly not helping improve my situation! :_(
I...I just do not want to be so alone...hard to be alone when everyone around you are...have someone but not you...even friends...they have their own life...it's...sad...
posted by shiruikage at
8:19 PM
5 Comments:
Well sunday is almost over now isn't it, and u survived. So it shows that u're still positive about life,and didn't do anything stupid with it.
wat kind of stupid thing did u think i'll do? eat chocolate?
my advise is just forget about the teacher, and find a new target ^^
there is a whole jungle out there in SG
i know, it's not easy. when i say be courageous and take action, i mean make up your mind on what you want and try to go for it... if it doesn't work the way you wanted, then it's time to let go...
i've been there, i know it's tough... i've had my heart shattered to pieces too, that i'm still working on patching up, but i'm patching up...
nobody wants to be lonely... but to dwelve continously on something that is not meant to be will not help to make things better... talk about it, mull over it, but don't let it take over...
you are responsible for your own happiness... don't, for even a second, think that you're worthless of total joy... when the right person is the right person, then all will be right...
a new 'target' u say...do-able...tho hard.
yea lil...thats y i rant about it...made me feel so much better (relatively)...
i made up my mind. i want her! i am going for it...once her exam finishes...
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home