It is it, yet it is not.

Well, on my way back from work, I actually composed the subject matter of this post to be transfered here...but now that I'm sitting here, my mind is a blank. Maybe it is becouse of the laksa?

Anyway, as I was reading through the Sept issue of American Scientist, I had a sudden thought or revelation on why I am not a scientist or studiying Ph.D like my other friends. It makes me realise that intelectually, I am a bit behind. And it (the readin) does invoke some interesting observations.

For example, I am a Licensed Aircraft Engineer. This title is in itself a misnomer since I do not do any actual engineering work. I just certify that the work done based on the approved repair manuals are correct and compliant with air safety regulations. Is that an engineer I wonder. But, even IF I consider this an engineering job, my way of thinking is totally not in-line with the reality of my job. How so?

In this job, I need to find evidence of my work, like I need to follow word for word instructions in the repair manual or else it's my skinny arse that is on the line. BUT I did not think like this. More often than not, I think like a scientist; I found a problem, I think of ways that it can be solved without refering to the manual and sometimes suggest radical means to solve it. which is of course not authorised or approved. Training too, I see many people (trainees) trying to find answers to questions that is word for word copy of the text in the manual. I mean, is this how we are supposed to think?

I know that evidence is needed many times, but how to create a creative and innovative mind when they dare not try new answers to questions? Therein lies my dilenma; I'm a quasi-engineer who happens to think like a quasi-scientist. Only problem is, I'm not much of a scientist at all. My mathematics is sucky at best and I have relly no patience to do esperiments (although I like it). Even worse, I prefer prototyping to making experiments. Does that make me a de-facto builder or engineer?

Now this has even got me confused. *sigh.....