It's Over

Well, it's over. The classes I mean. The only chance of ever getting her number now, or to ask her out for that matter is to go to the final exam next week, and somehow get her to talk to me alone, or in the presence of an accomplice. Or ask my accomplice to ask for the number, which is also a good thing...anyway, can't do that. Just not my style.

I'm going to go study for my final exams now. Not that I would cram a lot into my head now. It's filled with what should I do tomorrow now that it's a public holiday. I suppose I could go report to work, but what is the point of working if you're not putting in 110%?

And please can somebody tell me how the hell I could cheer myself up? Now, I'm just listening to this awesome song.

#...running just as fast as we can,
holding on to one another's hand,
trying to get away into the night,
and then you put your arms around me,
and we tumble to the ground,
and then you said,

I think we're alone now,
there doesn't seem to be anyone around,
I think we're alone now,
the beating of our hearts is the only sound.#

Yawn...

Sleepy. Bored. Angst. Bottled. Tired. Hungry. Down. Shy. Love-shy.

And can you believe that the last one; love-shy, is actually a described psychological disorder (however, it is still being debated)? Man, all these while I thought it's nothing but hype. According to the symptoms, and target group; which i think meant the people most likely to suffer from it, are exactly like what I've experienced for the past...well...several year...ish? Long story short, all the signs of love-shy, I exhibit. Hell, even most of the effects of it are true. and some of the causes. Man, that guy is really spot on.

On another front, I must apologize for the low quality of my previous post. I copied and paste it from my alma mater's forum, without cleaning up the language. Sorry about that. *sic.

PotC3: At World's End, Blades of Glory

phew! movie marathon again yesterday. first up is pirates of the Caribbeans 3. well......its bad actually. really bad. the first pirates was better than this. the second pirates pulled it down a notch. and the third pirates totally blew it all. pthh! i mean, really man. all the qualities that made pirates 1 such a hit is johnny depp at his wackiest! and sadly, the third installment don see him doing much at all. story wise, its all helter-kelter. the leads, in this case, orlando and hat skinny english lass, wats her name, keira, blew it. big time! arghh! 'nuff said.

the second movie, which i am almost reluctant to watch, is actually quite, okay okay, very funny, is blades of glory. i thot it's gonna be one big gay fest, but luckily, its not. its the total opposite! watch out for katie something. i donno who's the actress, mayb i do, just forgot the name, she is HOT with a capital...everything! [COLOR="White"]and who's the lead's name....something lar, got to grab her breast! wowwee! not once, but twice! so dead-pan face! funny and unusually arousing. gasp! man, u could really grab that asset![/COLOR]

i mean, u really gotta watch that movie. it is seriously funny. especially with the decapitation part. wickedly funny. all of us, yes, all in the cinema were jumping out of our seats with laughter!

Sicker And Tirer

Tirer. I don't think it's a real word. Yep, just confirmed it with my trusty dictionary. It's not a real word. However, that word just about describes my feeling right now...PISSED OFF!!!!!

My modem's acting up again. And I've called the provider...yet again. Damn. FUCK DAMN!!! That is how mad I am after this ordeal! During this ordeal!!! Arghhh!!! My connection's being going on and off for me for weeks now. Hell, even now, I'm typing this without even knowing if this will publish...assuming the line don't fuck me in my arse right about now...okay, it didn't...yet.

Come Tuesday, they're sending another pawn to collect my piss. Hope they bring a big can...'coz I'm not there to greet him. Fuck damn! This better works out.....HOT FUCK DAMN!!!

Sigh...what is this world coming to when you have to swear on a blog instead of a real person...like...like...like those bastards at ISP?!!

One word...

こんなん。

Servitude

I...don't know what to say. I don't know if my current down state stems from my illness, my medication, my missing her or my perception of her imminent rejection of me.

On the positive side of things, she could be withholding her number to discourage me from wasting my time pursuing other things when I should be studying for my final exam. On the negative side of things, she could be withholding her number because she is holding out for the man, her partner at her weekly salsa dancing class. I mean, how could I compete with a man who hold her close, moves her body to his, and feels her every breath when they're dancing...salsa. A close contact dance. Sensual. The man could even be muscularly built, manly yet gentle. How could a women of her caliber resist? How could I prevail against such competition?

Patience versus aggressiveness... I don't know which is better. One quarter advice patience, another say to be, be more aggressive. Either way, be confidant. I have a friend who tried to woo a girl he fancies for a year before he failed. I do not have one year. I have 2 weeks. Unless I get her number, I've failed.

Crashed and Burning

Steeled up my guts tonight to ask her for her telephone number. But...yep, you've guessed it, I failed. :(

How did I ask? Well, it's after class and after cleaning up my desk, I stood up, approached her, and asked her just like that. She asked me why do I need her number, so I replied that "So I call her about the lessons so far, since exam is coming." She looks apologetic (or was it pain?)-at least I thought it's apologetic because she grimaced, and declined to give me her number.

Personally, I think that the dating game is a trial and error thing. You try it on one person you fancy, and when it doesn't work, you try something else on another women, or try the same thing over and over again on different women until that one magical time when it worked. Previously, I tried many..."methods" or just approaches on different women when one failed. Now, I am determined to mine all my friend's experiences and use them on her. This time I tried asking for her number by giving a (now it seems) lame excuse, next time (next Tuesday incidentally) I'm going to ask for her number again...only this time, I'll say "So that I can ask you out for dinner."

What do you think? Too stupid? Too confident? Too soon?

Sick and Tired

I feel so sick. In fact, I am sick. And tired. Did I said I was tired? The pain which I suffered from last Friday still has yet to abet. So tired everyday at work, which I might add indistinguishable from my daily attitude at work: totally indifference. Now made much worse. And I'm sick at home too. No games to play...okay, no new game to play. New movies has et to come to cinemas near me. And worse of all...I has yet to ask her out! I am such a loser. :(

What is it with me and cowardice? I can't find someone to talk to, to relate too. All my friends are just that, friends that you do not open up to. And others are not close enough. This blog is he only thing that allowed me to express myself. A listening ear. A faithful companion...well, not exactly. But at least it 'listens' to my woes without making a comment. Is it really so hard to find my missing heart?

Seven Year Itch

Starting tomorrow, begins the first day of a seven year crusade. A day that will love in infamy, as we stood up to all that is right, and all that we hold dear......oops, sorry, wrong speech.

Seven classes to go. Seven sins to commit. Seven chances to commit. Seven wonders of the world. Seven disasters happening. Seven miles long road to walk. Seven dwarfs walking. Seven brothers speaks seven languages on the seventh minute of the seventh hour of the seventh day of the seventh month of the seventh year of the seventh millennia since humans started from Earth......oops...wrong story. ごめんね。Seven sentences with one too many...

My friends were right. I won't know what she really thinks about me unless I ask her. I will never find out how she really feels about me unless I ask her...discreetly of course. And I will never ever, for the life of me, find my significant other if I just sit here in front of this damned computer writing about what I did or didn't do and nothing else. If anything I learned from watching TV, playing games, watching arguments, seeing people is that, life is too short to be spent trying to figure out whodunit. The simplest course of action would be...ask her!

LIVE HAPPY!! LIVE LIFE!!!

New Counter

Well...got a new page layout now. So put in a new web-counter. Not that there are many people who came. But, still...new counter for a new page.

Finally!

Well, finally Blogger got its acts together. I wasn't able to post for weeks while Bloggers sort out the mess. Now......I don't know what to write because its being long. Have at 'ya baby.

Equality

Hmm, many talked of equality like it's a good thing. And many more talked of it as nothing more than a nuisance that over-charged feminists bandied about in the newspaper. But what crosses, I think, many mind is; "What the hell is equality?"

Is it gender balance in terms of job allocation? Salary allocation? Is it treatment? What actually is equality? I can't even ask the right question because I am not sure what answer I would expect to hear.

Some say it's the equality in education. But we already have that. In fact, there are now more women in education than are men. Compare this with just six decades ago, and you will see the meteoric rise of "Girl Power".

Some also say it's the equality in job allocation and compensation packages. Honestly now, though there are some improvements in the number of females working in today's globalised world, there are admittedly more discrimination in hiring practices. These are reinforced by the feminist movement that uses nothing less than the full public opinion machinery against the perceived perpetrator of this practice. But, are all evasive companies which employs male in preference to female truly guilty of gender discrimination? Have the feminist consider the possibility that the company might have no need for female employees?

I mean, take for example, how could a company be hiring a women to be a male actor when they can hire men? Okay okay, this is an oversimplification of an example, but my point stands: companies tend to hire people based on needed qualities and abilities. That the majority of employees are male is not proof of gender discrimination. It could just very well mean that no women are interested in the job, or they are unable to meet the criterias for the job. These things happen.

Speaking of gender equality, have you ever wondered why there's a Family Charter, Women's Chatter, but for the life of you, you can't find their equivalent in Male Charter? Does this mean that men does not need specialized protection? Men who beat women are severely punished, but women who beat men are said to be protecting themselves. So I ask, it is alright for a women to beat the crap out of any men, and the men can't even complain about it? And it's NOT alright for men to be hitting any women because there's a little piece of law that protects any women from physical harm? Hmm? Isn't this discrimination already?

Funny isn't it: That those who are discriminated against are the first to discriminate others.

やった！

Finally, I went out with my love interest. You know who. I can't say anymore because she might be reading this, and I do not want to burst the bubble...just yet.

Wow, at first I thought she's going to get some of her friends to go as well, which it turns out not to be. Her friends' not feeling super that night, so, in hindsight, should have left us both alone. But, hindsight being what it is, already invited another friend of mine, when the first couldn't make it, to go, making the encounter (should I call it a date?) a group of three. Man, how we chatted!

The time we start, 930pm. and the time we end, 1am...the next day! 3 freaking hours! And I wasn't even aware of the time! How it flies when good times are nigh! Oh, I miss last night! Good omen is that she, (yes, HER!) suggested we should go for sushi sometimes. (Don't ask me why she want to ask, it's a long story.) BUT, i neglected or was it ignorant to the fact that she might be asking us (my friend and I) out for a second meeting? Should I ask her out again, this time for dinner instead of supper?

Hmm, maybe I should.